Hi teacher, please help me correct the essay below. Thank you so much.

Topic: The media should include more stories which report good news. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays, the media in many countries is covering more negative stories than good one. People believe that they should focus on selecting more positive content which have good influence in humanity. I totally agree with this idea for following reasons.

There are a number of reasons why we should reduce negativity, such as war, disaster and civil, in the media. First, many studies prove that people who watch bad news tend to have higher stress level, which might take a serious toll on reader’s mental health. It means that this kind of contents would raise seft-reported measures of anxious and sad mood, and subsequently led to personal worries, which may result in people traumatic events. Second, exposure to negative news which seems be poor representative of reality will produce biased people with incomplete knowledge regarding society. In fact, because bad news gets large readership and many publications, media is trying to publish such kind of articles for profit purpose, which unfortunately shape reader’s outlook on negative way.

On the other hand, good news can benefit greatly in people personal lives and relationships. First, positive information benefits us emotionally, physically and mentally, it can contribute in a meaningful way to happier and healthier life. For example, no one can dispute the power of laughter, a good and humorous story will leave a smile on people face every time when they think back on it. Second, because good news can strengthen people’s faith in humanity, it might uphold ethical and social value. For example, human-interest stories or stories about improved living and health conditions increase trust and hope in humankind, which inspires readers to take more moral actions.

In conclusion, by staying away from bad news and exposure to good one will help people’s emotion and physical better. I could believe that media professionals should make efforts to create positivity as well.

Nowadays, [ 1] The mass media in many countries is covering typically covers more negative stories than good ones. Thus, many people believe that, for the sake of balance, they should focus on selecting more positive content too, which would have beneficial effects on society. good influence in humanity. I totally agree with this idea for the following reasons.

There are a number of reasons why we should reduce negativity, such as war, disaster and civil, in the media. [ 2]

First, many studies [ 3] prove have shown that people who watch bad news all the time tend to have higher stress [ 4] levels, which might take a serious toll on reader’s their mental health. It means that This kind of contents content would can raise seft-reported measures of anxious trigger anxiety and lead to sad moods, and even depression. [ 5] subsequently led to personal worries, which may result in people traumatic events. Second, exposure to negative news which seems be is sometimes a poor representative representation of reality and will produce biased people bias with incomplete knowledge regarding society and the world. In fact, because bad news gets large readership and viewership many publications, media is trying to publish such kind of articles for profit purpose, which unfortunately shape reader’s outlook on negative way. [ 6]

On the other hand, good news can greatly benefit greatly in people in their personal lives and relationships. First, positive information benefits us emotionally, physically and mentally, and it can contribute in a meaningful way to happier and healthier life. For example, no one can dispute the power of laughter. A good and humorous story will leave a smile on people’s faces every time when they think back on of it. Second, because good news can strengthen people’s faith in humanity, it might uphold can encourage ethical behaviour. and social value. For example, human-interest stories or stories about improved living and health conditions increase trust and hope in humankind, which inspires readers to take more moral actions. [ 6]

In conclusion, by staying away from bad news and exposure to good one will help people’s emotion and physical better. I could believe that media professionals should make efforts to create positivity as well. [ 7]

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[ 1]: Don’t use “nowadays” unnecessarily. Here, it shouldn’t be used, because the mass media have always been like that, not only nowadays.

[ 2]: That’s not a good topic sentence, because the paragraph does not talk about wars or natural disasters. Either you change the paragraph or amend the topic sentence.

[ 3]: Note the tense.

[ 4]: When we talk about something in general, we use the plural (if it’s countable).

[ 5]: Give an example if you can. That will earn you better marks.

[ 6]: I don’t understand what that means. Rewrite it in a clear and simple manner. Avoid repetition, and try to give examples. Remember also that you mentioned “relationships” in your topic sentence, so you need to talk about that in the paragraph.

[ 7]: Do not discuss new ideas in a conclusion. Just summarize the main points from the body paragraphs.

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Try to fix your essay, and post the revised version below, if you wish.