Hello !

I need feedback on this poem. If it only seems arcane but could still be interpreted subjectively all right, but if some bits sound too awkward then let me know. Thanks in advance for your consideration.


Here deep in the dead of night

Where Nature puts my eye to shame

An avid storm arouses life

Through destruction

Stricken by a lightning hiss

Nebulous swarms sharpen the shade

Until crucial hostilities

Mix grace with dread

Drawn to this split whirl of want

Earth-colored hawks pick up the mice

On their feather a frenzied ant

Removes the lice

Rising in an airless sky

The Venus flytraps open wide

To conjure up a falling star

Upon their side

Firing rosy promises

Crystal liquors sing to the moth

The sundew captures in a blaze

Of fervid growth

Rolled around sulfurous coal

Two glaringly emerald eyes

Fathom across the feline gloom

All lustful ties

Twined in such a dim delight

Silver-tongued snakes long to surround

The lively pearls tucked in the dark

They thirst to find

All in all flame and shadow

Run every form of our being

As long as life shall fight this law

Or kill to spring


Everything is spelled right, and I see no usage problems. Apart from that, I believe that a poet is on his own. Happy versing.