"Hello, Charlie- Jack. Of course my watch hasn't stopped. I'm still working and bloody hard, too. You done your crime statistics? Good, what was the trend, up or down? Seven per cent up? Here, did I tell you the joke about the bloke who drunk the spitton for a bet? "

I can understand "hasn't stopped" (because it still works now), but how about "here did I tell you the joke"

By the way, I think that some people uses the past simple to just say the past action, that isn't focusing on present. Like "They lost their friend !"- Even if it was not long time ago, it was just a past action, that happened. Maybe now something is going on about it. But nevermind about that, I'm more interested in the sentence above.

Here again, there is no mention of time, so either tense is theoretically possible. That means 'have I told you the joke about ...' can also be correct. There are thousands of cases where both past simple and present perfect are possible. It's a matter of how the speaker is thinking of the situation.

The speaker thinks maybe he told them the joke, and maybe he didn't, so he's asking if he did. He is not relating it to the present situation. It comes up in the text as a complete change of topic.

Or something like that

But our student died out there! (it means like they died)


But our student has died out there! (it means that they died but it influence us)

It looks like both lf them are correct

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