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Hey, can someone help me to correct my text. I would like to implement some passive and gerund sentences!

Thanks


Beginning:
Good afternoon and Welcome to our today´s presentation. We are very proud to present you our revolutionary and innovative product idea, the multifunctional safety jacket!
But first, let me briefly introduce ourselves. My name is Markus Köhne, this is Leon Ebinger and this is Abdel Lemouchi. We are the founders of the start-up company “La forêt noir” and have spent lots of time researching, developing and testing our product. We believe that our product is going to be an important product in the sports market worldwide. Perhaps you might think, there are already sufficient safety jackets or safety gadgets on the market, avoiding fatal injuries or death in sports like skiing, mountain biking,motorcycling and more. But unfortunately as shown in statistics those products aren’t as efficient as they are claimed to be. According to the Federal Institute of Population Research of Germany the number of deaths in car accidents decreased about 7.4% in the last year, however the number of deaths in motorcycling accidents increased a striking 8.4%. Furthermore, safety jackets are often uncomfortable due to the disturbing protection, known as being hard, big or stiff.
Therefore, we are going to present you a safety jacket, incomparable to typical safety jackets, increasing the safety of its customer with several intelligent functions , which are able to reduce the risk of death but still maintains a comfortable and stylish design.

Maybe Outline

Airbag:

Let’s start with the first feature of our jacket, the revolutionary foret noir air bag system. Yes you have heard it right. An air bag system inside a jacket to prevent damage to its user in case of an accident.
First of all, let me talk about how we came to the idea of this feature.
The car industry or basically the functions of cars are getting improved year by year. Emission values, consumption of gasoline, velocity, design and last but not least the safety. But if we put our sight on motorbikes the performance technology has advanced exponentially over the last several decades but unfortunately the same thing cannot be said about the safety or the protective gear that motorcyclists wear. So we thought about what does a car do different in case of a crash, compared to a motorbike. And obviously it is the air bag. We think that the foret noir air bag system is even more important now than ever before.
But not only motorbike driver, also bike drivers, skiers or other high risk sportsman’s can use it. So how have we realized it ?
We have taken some functions of a usual airbag system and used them to build our modified air bag technology. The air bag itself is made out of very durable, age-resistant polyamide fabric, located in the inside of the jacket. The fabric is double-layered, that means in case of an accident it can built up a gas-filled protective layer, as you can see in the sketch.
The control unit is the heart of the airbag system and is installed centrally in the front of the jacket. It is just a little chip, but manages all the functions of the airbag. Its connected with the crash sensor, which is, depending in the sport that you are doing, a different one. Basically we have implemented two kind of crash sensors for different sports.
Firstly the simpler crash sensor which is used in sports like motor driving, mountain biking or even horse riding. A short but sturdy string is attached at the chest height close the to the control unit. The string is strongly fixed in the jacket but if the force gets too strong, like in case of an accident while falling of your driving or riding device, the string breaks out of the jacket and triggers the control unit. Now the control unit is activated and enables the air bag inflation.
Secondly the more complicated crash sensor, which could be used by competitive ski driver, skaters or ice skater, connected and located directly next to the control unit. More complicated because it’s not getting triggered mechanically, rather over a sophisticated tilt sensor like we have in each of our smartphones. This sensor is capable of detecting the equilibrium position of the sportsman and has saved all the conventional positions in the chip. But in case of losing balance, the sensors gets triggered instantly, detecting an dangerous body position and sends a signal to the control unit right before the person hits the ground.
In case of an accident, the control unit fires a generator. In this process, a trigger current heats up a thin wire that fires the firing pellet, imaginable as tiny tablet. As the process continues there is no explosion – instead, the firing pellet is burned, made out sodium azide. The gas produced while the pellet burns expands and reacts in a chemical reaction with a oxidizer like copper oxide or iron oxide ,which are implemented in the generator, to form almost pure nitrogen which fills the airbag. Within a period of under 30 ms the airbag gets inflated and builds a protection shield for the user.
To deflate your jacket you just have to press the button of deflation, located at the inner side of your left sleeve.
Before your activity you have to choose which kind of extreme sport you’re doing. You can connect the control unit over Bluetooth with your smartphone and easily select in our customer app, for example motorbike. That means the mechanical sensor is enabled and the equilibrium senor is disabled. To lower the probability of false triggering the system disables itself if you open your zipper. Furthermore, the speed is being detected by the control unit and disables the airbag under 15 km/h.
Another cool feature that seats the le forêt noir airbag system apart from other air bag technologies is that all of our products are self-serviceable. If you had an accident and the air bag goes off there is no need to have it repacked. That means you don’t have to pack up your jacket, send it back to us and wait to get it back before you can wear it again. All it takes is 5 minutes and a replacement generator, available in our online shop, and you´re back on the road, the ski run or whatever, protected for your next accident.
When you´re wearing your forêt noir safety jacket and a helmet you are protecting yourself from nearly 80% of the injuries that can happen in an accident.
We’ve looked at the airbag system so let’s turn now to Leon and the thermoregulation.


GPS/SOS:

We also integrated an GPS system in the jacket. It is a small chip which can locate the persons position accurate to 5m. Being alone in case of an avalanche or a motorcycle accident is really dangerous. Therefore you can enable a SOS function before your ride. That means if the air bag triggers, automatically the SOS system calls to the number you have registered in your application. With this function you don’t lose time to save the customers life in case of being buried under an avalanche or being unconscious after a motorcycle accident.
Of course you cannot jest with that function because in case of false alarms you would have to pay the upcoming costs.



Target group:

As a target group we have aimed extreme athletes in competitions or even normal person who just want a highly comfortable jacket with a lot of add-ons but still the safest jacket on the planet.

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rkkingHey, can someone help me to correct my text.

Your text is rather long for one post, and you didn't say "please" so I will do a couple of paragraphs for you. The text that needs attention is highlighted.


Good afternoon and Welcome to our today´s presentation. We are very proud to present you our revolutionary and innovative product idea, the multifunctional safety jacket!
But first, let me briefly introduce ourselves. My name is Markus Köhne, this is Leon Ebinger and this is Abdel Lemouchi. We are the founders of the start-up company “La forêt noir” and have spent lots of time researching, developing and testing our product. We believe that our product is going to be an important product in the sports market worldwide. Perhaps you might think, there are already sufficient safety jackets or safety gadgets on the market, avoiding fatal injuries or death in sports like skiing, mountain biking,motorcycling and more. But unfortunately as shown in statistics those products aren’t as efficient as they are claimed to be. According to the Federal Institute of Population Research of Germany the number of deaths in car accidents decreased about 7.4% in the last year, however the number of deaths in motorcycling accidents increased a striking 8.4%. Furthermore, safety jackets are often uncomfortable due to the disturbing protection, known as being hard, big or stiff.
Therefore, we are going to present you a safety jacket, incomparable to typical safety jackets, increasing the safety of its customer with several intelligent functions , which are able to reduce the risk of death but still maintains a comfortable and stylish design.

Maybe Outline

Airbag:

Let’s start with the first feature of our jacket, the revolutionary foret noir air bag system. Yes you have heard it right. An air bag system inside a jacket to prevent damage to its user in case of an accident.
First of all, let me talk about how we came to the idea of this feature.
The car industry or basically the functions of cars are getting improved year by year. Emission values, consumption of gasoline, velocity, design and last but not least the safety. But if we put our sight on motorbikes the performance technology has advanced exponentially over the last several decades but unfortunately the same thing cannot be said about the safety or the protective gear that motorcyclists wear. So we thought about what does a car do different in case of a crash, compared to a motorbike. And obviously it is the air bag. We think that the foret noir air bag system is even more important now than ever before.
But not only motorbike driver, also bike drivers, skiers or other high risk sportsman’s can use it. So how have we realized it ?
We have taken some functions of a usual airbag system and used them to build our modified air bag technology. The air bag itself is made out of very durable, age-resistant polyamide fabric, located in the inside of the jacket. The fabric is double-layered, that means in case of an accident it can built up a gas-filled protective layer, as you can see in the sketch.
The control unit is the heart of the airbag system and is installed centrally in the front of the jacket. It is just a little chip, but manages all the functions of the airbag. Its connected with the crash sensor, which is, depending in the sport that you are doing, a different one. Basically we have implemented two kind of crash sensors for different sports.
Firstly the simpler crash sensor which is used in sports like motor driving, mountain biking or even horse riding. A short but sturdy string is attached at the chest height close the to the control unit. The string is strongly fixed in the jacket but if the force gets too strong, like in case of an accident while falling of your driving or riding device, the string breaks out of the jacket and triggers the control unit. Now the control unit is activated and enables the air bag inflation.