This is an IELTS essay. Please help me to improve it. Thank you !

According to recent reports, it seems to be that automobiles are responsible for many deaths and serious injuries each year. The primary purpose of this essay is to provide some solutions that encourage people using alternative transport instead of cars. In addition, it exposes several possible ways for the government in promoting public transport.

There are some advantages of using non-motorize transport and public transport system instead of using car. Firstly, it is convenient for traveler to find a parking place. Most of universities, colleges, companies and organizations need a large area for packing. If more students, workers use motorbike, the parking areas will be smaller. Secondly, traveling by bicycle or walking in short trip has positive impact on health. Scientists believe that a small exercise everyday benefits for physicality and mentality. Thirdly, the environmental problems will be reduced if non-motorize transport and public transport are more popular.

In order to improve and promote the public transport system, government needs to invest more and to administrate seriously. Increase number of buses to ensure that they are always available even in the rush hours when there are a high number of travelers. Besides, the service also needs to serve seriously to avoid the dissatisfaction of passengers, which may cause the failure of the plan. For example, all buses have to be on time. If for some reason that a person misses an important appointment cause by the delay of bus, he will probably not use it anymore.

In conclusion, if passengers can aware the benefits of using non-motorize, public transport instead of private automobiles and government has the suitable policies to promote the public transport system at the same time, I believe that there will be a significant reduction of car-related accidents in the near future.
I checked but on grammar...

According to recent reports, it seems that the cars are responsible for many deaths and serious injuries occuring each year. The primary purpose of this essay is to provide some solutions that would encourage people to use alternative transport instead of cars. In addition, it exposes several possible ways for the government in promoting public transport.

There are some advantages of using the non-motorise and public transport systems instead of using the car. Firstly, it is convenient for traveller to find a parking place. Most of universities, colleges, companies and organisations need a considerably large area for parking. If more students and workers use motorbike, the parking areas will be smaller. Secondly, travelling by bicycle or walking a short trip has a positive impact on health. Scientists believe that a small exercise everyday can help imrove physical and mental condition of a person. Furthermore, the environmental problems will be reduced if non-motorise and public transport are more popular.

In order to improve and promote the public transport system, government needs to invest more in ... (whatever) to administrate seriously (wot?). Increase number of buses to ensure that they are always available even in the rush hours when there are a high number of travelers. [rewrite] Besides, the service also needs to serve seriously to avoid the dissatisfaction of passengers, which may cause the failure of the plan. [nonsense! rewrite] For example, all buses have to be on time. If for some reason person misses an important appointment caused by delay of bus, he will probably not use it again.

In conclusion, if passengers are aware of the benefits of the use of non-motorise or public transport instead of private cars, and the government has suitable policies to promote the public transport system at the same time, I believe that there will be a significant reduction of car-related accidents in the near future. [too long a sentence! split and rewrite]

thanks for the quick reply, this is the new version after correcting

According to recent reports, it seems that the cars are responsible for many deaths and serious injuries occuring each year. The primary purpose of this essay is to provide some solutions that would encourage people to use alternative transport instead of cars. In addition, it exposes several possible ways for the government in promoting public transport.

There are some advantages of using the non-motorise and public transport systems instead of using the car. Firstly, it is convenient for traveller to find a parking place. Most of universities, colleges, companies and organisations need a considerably large area for parking. If more students and workers use motorbike, the parking areas will be smaller. Secondly, travelling by bicycle or walking a short trip has a positive impact on health. Scientists believe that a small exercise everyday can help improve physical and mental condition of a person. Furthermore, the environmental problems will be reduced if non-motorise and public transport are more popular.

In order to improve and promote the public transport system, government needs to invest more in the bus system. The bus-system needs to be extended to ensure that there are enough buses in the rush hours when numerous people go to work. Besides, some issues such as punctuality, vehicle cleanliness and staff helpfulness are also need to be focused on. For example, if for some reason person misses an important appointment caused by delay of bus, he will probably not use it again.

In conclusion, if these actions are taken immediately, I believe that more people will use the public transport instead of private cars. As consequence, there will be a significant reduction of car-related accidents in the near future.