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Money is definitely a powerful tool in the world we live in today. Therefore, many people advocate the viewpoint that the chief factor of selecting a job is a high salary. However, I totally disagree with this opinion and do believe that there are other important considerations while choosing a job.

To begin with, I strongly think that people should go for a career which based on their passions. If we follow our desires, we are likely to have more motivation and satisfaction in work. For example, when we are passionate about our job, we will finish all the tasks more enthusiastically and effortlessly. This also helps us to succeed in our position. In addition, a career which fulfills our personal interests may provide us with a more pleasant work environment. When we work in a group that consists of like-minded people, we can be more outgoing and easily express our ideas to others.

Another factor to consider when embarking in a career is the employee benefits that the companies offer. Many researches have shown that work engagement and satisfaction increase with better benefits. For instance, if we are given some benefits such as health insurance or time off, we will be assured about the job and our work may get more productive and efficient.

In conclusion, it is normal for people to seek for well-paying jobs. Nevertheless, I still suggest that our own aspirations and the benefits which we receive from the companies are the more essential factors.

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You barely wrote the minimum word count. You risk losing points for not writing enough. You will get better results if you include a personal experience as an example. You write in very general terms.


Money is definitely a powerful tool in the world we live in today. (That is a very broad generalization. Focus on the topic at hand.) Therefore, many people advocate the viewpoint that the chief factor of selecting a job is the a high salary offered. However, I totally disagree with this opinion and do believe that there are other important considerations while choosing a job. (I cannot comment on "task completion" because you did not post the complete instructions.)

To begin with, I strongly think that people should go for a career which based (ungrammatical) on their passions. If we follow our desires, we are likely to have more motivation and satisfaction in work. For example, when we are passionate about our job, we will finish all the tasks more enthusiastically and effortlessly. This also helps us to succeed in our position. In addition, a career which fulfills our personal interests may provide us with a more pleasant work environment. When we work in a group that consists of like-minded people, we can be more outgoing and easily express our ideas to others.

Another factor to consider when embarking in a career is the employee benefits that the companies offer. Many researches (wrong form) have shown that work engagement and satisfaction increase with better benefits. For instance, if we are given some benefits such as health insurance or time off, we will be assured about the job and our work may get will be more productive and efficient.

In conclusion, it is normal for people to seek for well-paying jobs. Nevertheless, I still suggest that our own aspirations and the benefits which we receive from the companies are the more essential factors.

Comments  

Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. Copy all the instructions here. We cannot evaluate "task completion" without all of them.


My essay:

(Your text here...)
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 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.