+0
I had to write an application essay on "In 125 words or less, please describe the most rewarding and challenging aspect of being a leader in your community"

Here is the essay. Any suggestions would be great. Its a big longer then it should, so if you could help me consolidate sentences/remove things that are probably unimportant, I would really appreciate it!

"
Through the years, I have been blessed with countless opportunities that have allowed me to take on leadership roles within my community. Taking on a leadership role is one of the most challenging tasks one can endeavor. For me, the most challenging aspect can sometimes be understanding my own strengths and weaknesses. Understanding my strengths and weaknesses allows me to develop a successful strategy plan with my team, fully outlining the intentions of our task with full ambiguity. Communication with team members can also be a challenge. Being clear and concise about your overall goal and specific tasks that must be performed by team members is absolutely crucial. Being open to your group’s ideas about attacking certain issues is the key to successfully reaching your goal. Taking on a leadership role not only built up my confidence, but I am proud that I have motivated many others to strive for excellence and have passed the seeds of leadership on to them.

"
+0
oates151
Through the years, I have been blessed with countless opportunities that have allowed me to take on leadership roles within my community. Taking on a leadership role is one of the most challenging tasks one can endeavor. For me, the most challenging aspect of leadership can sometimes be understanding my own strengths and weaknesses. Understanding my strengths and weaknesses allows me to develop a successful strategy plan with my team, fully outlining the intentions of our task with full ambiguity. ( don't you mean that a good strategy reduces ambiguity?) Communication with team members can also be a challenge (Is this a second challenge?. The essay instructions asked for only one.) . Being clear and concise about your overall goal and specific tasks that must be performed by team members is absolutely crucial. Being open to your group’s ideas about attacking certain issues is the key to successfully reaching your goal. Taking on a leadership role not only built up my confidence, but I am proud that I have motivated many others to strive for excellence and have passed the seeds of leadership on to them. (is this the greatest reward of being a leader?)

Comments  
Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
How is this:

Through the years, I have been blessed with countless opportunities to take on leadership roles within my community. For me, the most challenging aspect of leadership can sometimes be understanding my own strengths and weaknesses. Understanding my strengths and weaknesses allows me to develop a successful strategy with my team, fully outlining the intentions of our task while reducing ambiguity. Being clear and concise about your overall goal and specific tasks that must be completed by team members is absolutely crucial. Open communication with your team about their individual ideas and propositions is the key to successfully reaching your goal. In the end, the single most rewarding aspect of leadership is knowing that you made a difference by motivating others to strive for excellence by passing the seeds of leadership on to them.
You might change your essay to be consistent in using either first person (I / me / my), or second person. (You/your).
oates151In the end, The single most rewarding aspect of leadership is knowing that you (I) made a difference by motivating others to strive for excellence by and passing the seeds of leadership on to them.
full ambiguity??? ambiguity means unclear... you sure that you mean that?
Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.