Dear all!

I am afraid to ruin the lyrical atmosphere, but my question concerns limericks - the 5-line mockery poems. Although I heard some during my English classes at school, I doubt they were real as I heard a real limerick must not only be restricted in size and rythm, but also in its contents. That is, it must

1) Tell about someone
2) Tell about the place that someone is from
3) Contain at least one swear word.

Of course, the last restriction made it impossible to get real limericks from schoolbooks. Can anyone provide any real limerick?

(The forum policy is to avoid swear words, but maybe there is some way? Emotion: smile I really want to know!)
1 2
Lol, that sounds really funny!
On second thoughts I am not so sure about swear words. Couldn't they be replaced by something else?
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
I don't know. It is tempting to understand what hides behind $#%^[email protected] Emotion: smile

I have got one borrowed from a popular scientific book. It is about the fact that in the Special Relativity theory, moving with a velocity higher than the speed of light is in some way equal to moving backward in time. I don't remember the place name, so I will substitute 'Bright' for rythm. It contains no swear words, though, but is rather funny, I think.

There was a young lady of Bright,
Who travelled much faster than light.
She departed one day -
In a relative way -
And arrived on the previous night.
lol. Anymore?
Many limericks contain a swear word, but many do not.
It is not required at all.

A mosquito was heard to complain
That a chemist had poisoned his brain
The cause of his sorrow
Was paradichloro

- author unknown

Note: paradichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane = the chemical name for DDT
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The limerick's birth is unclear;
It's Genesis owed much to ***.
It started as clean,
But soon went obscene,
And this split haunts its later career.

The limerick is furtive and mean;
You must keep her close in quarantine,
or she sneaks to the slums
and promptly becomes Disorderly,
drunk and obscene

(Morris Bishop)

*Edward Lear (1812-1888), born in Highgate (near London)
Lear combined drawing and writing. In 1846, he published his Book of Nonsense, a children's book with illustrations. His drawings come along with a few humorous lines called "limericks"
2 trellis: great one about DDT!

2 Pieter: as long as trellis said everything about the contents, may I add something about the form?

Limerick contains of 5 lines, and there is rythm: first, second and fifth lines contain usually 8-9 syllables, third and and fourth - 5-6 syllables. Rhyme must link 1, 2 and 5-th lines and 3-rd with the fourth. The first line is about WHO and FROM WHERE. The second - about WHAT HE/SHE USED TO DO, third and fourth - about some CIRCUMSTANCES, and fifth is a humourous ENDING. Like the one I had suggested about a lady who travelled much faster than light.

There was a young lady of BRIGHT (8 syllables; WHO)
Who travelled much faster than LIGHT (8 syllables, rhymed with 1-st line; DONE WHAT)
She departed one DAY (6 syllables; a start of STORY)
In a relative WAY (6 syllables; rhymed with 3-rd; continuation of STORY)
And arrived on the previous NIGHT (9 syllables, rhymed with 1 and 2 lines; HUMOR)

The ones containing swear words that I heard (in Russian, though) were quite funny but not vulgar at all - that's the art.
i'm Hungarian. If I translated how Hungarians speak sometimes ... Hungarian is probably the richest language as far as foul language is concerned. Vulgarity in postmodern poetry... well that's a topic we can discuss for weeks. Just as an example:
Gyorgy faludy, a very famous contemporary poet, who wrote lots of poems in English too ( he lived in Britain) has a limericke, which has never appeared in English, which says:
... Mr.X has dreamed one night, that a *** f... his wife...." This was published in an antology full of many obscene ehings. I don't want to say that I agree with obscenity, you will not find many in my poetry, but ...
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