It is widely reported that there is a majority of teenagers below 18 committing violent crime. According to psychological therapists, what brings young children into the violent behaviors is due to their lack of social and emotional consultation from their parents and teachers. To my personal point of view, I am convinced by this statement. This essay will grant us a chance to discuss in more detail.

Every child is unique and they have the possibilities to address the problems in their own ways. Therefore, parents are regarded as instructors to guild them whether they should use their critical thinking or violence to interact with people in community. I am off the opinion that children raised in families with a good care of feelings and fundamental skills have better opportunities than those growing in the bad conditions of emotion as well as social knowledge. Consequently, children have no choice but treating others with violence as the way to overcome difficulties in life.

In addition, teenagers spend half of their life at school, in a result, teachers also involve in the development of children. It is popularly known that students, especially those in high school, are under pressure of various concerns namely scores, friendship, relationships with other genders and even family's status. Personally, I was a victim of study performance during my high school, I was so worried about tests that I had an insomnia. Fortunately, I shared it to my head teacher and got some support from her and my friends. Of course, the teachers must be thorough and sensible enough to consult students.

In short, both parents and teachers are essential keys to unlock teenager's issue and input them the knowledge of behaviors in life. Furthermore, it is necessary for them to have a good ear on their next generation.

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is widely reported that there is a majority of teenagers below 18 committing violent crime. According to psychological therapists, what brings young children into the violent behaviors is due to their lack of social and emotional consultation from their parents and teachers. To my personal point of view, I am convinced by this statement. This essay will grant us a chance to discuss in more detail.

every child is unique and they have the possibilities to address the problems in their own ways. Therefore, parents are regarded as instructors to guild them whether they should use their critical thinking or violence to interact with people in community. I am off the opinion that children raised in families with a good care of feelings and fundamental skills have better opportunities than those growing in the bad conditions of emotion as well as social knowledge. Consequently, children have no choice but treating others with violence as the way to overcome difficulties in life.

In addition, teenagers spend half of their life at school, in a result, teachers also involve in the development of children. It is popularly known that students, especially those in high school, are under pressure of various concerns namely scores, friendship, relationships with other genders and even family's status.Personally, I was a victim of study performance during my high school, I was so worried about tests that I had an insomnia. Fortunately, I shared it to my head teacher and got some support from her and my friends. Of course, the teachers must be thorough and sensible enough to consult students.

In short, both parents and teachers are essential keys to unlock teenager's issue and input them the knowledge of behaviors in life. Furthermore, it is necessary for them to have a good ear on their next generation.

0352430082According to psychological therapists, what brings young children into the violent behaviors is due to their lack of social and emotional consultation from their parents and teachers. To my personal point of view, I am convinced by this statement.

In some cases, children and teens are violent because they are mentally ill.

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Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and... What are the rest of the instructions?

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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0352430082It is widely reported that there are is a majority of teenagers below 18 committing violent crime.

Do you mean that more than 50% of people aged 13-17 are committing assault, rape, murder and muggings?

It is certainly not true in the USA. Crime rates have been decreasing and are dramatically lower now than they were 20 years ago. See graph inserted below.

0352430082This essay will grant us a chance to discuss in more detail.

Do not mention your essay in an academic essay. Write a thesis statement.
Besides, "us a chance to discuss" is between a group of people. The essay form is not a discussion. It is your point of view.

I have highlighted the text that is incorrect or awkward.

Every child is unique and they have the possibilities to address the problems in their own ways. Therefore, parents are regarded as instructors to guild them whether they should use their critical thinking or violence to interact with people in community. I am off the opinion that children raised in families with a good care of feelings and fundamental skills have better opportunities than those growing in the bad conditions of emotion as well as social knowledge. Consequently, (It really does not follow that children raised in caring families treat others with violence.) children have no choice but treating others with violence as the way to overcome difficulties in life.

In addition, teenagers spend half of their life at school, in a result, teachers also involve in the development of children. It is popularly known that students, especially those in high school, are under pressure of various concerns namely scores, friendship, relationships with other genders and even family's status. Personally, I was a victim of study performance during my high school, I was so worried about tests that I had an insomnia. Fortunately, I shared it to my head teacher and got some support from her and my friends. Of course, the teachers must be thorough and sensible enough to consult students.

In short, both parents and teachers are essential keys to unlock teenager's issue and input them the knowledge of behaviors in life. Furthermore, it is necessary for them to have a good ear on their next generation.


FYI, here are the youth crime statistics for the US.