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Hi Teacher!

I wrote something to practise my writing skills ,but I am not sure whether my writing is correct!

Can anyone correct it for me?

Thank you

Research Theme: Espresso

Date:3 Julai 2010

Orientation

1) Espresso looks more like a normal restaurant which sells some coffee. Completely unlike Starbucks, coffee is not the main course of Espresso.

This type of restaurant has a better development in a small town, as there are no many people who will pays a high cost for a cup of quality coffee, as there are no many white collars with high salary.(Advantage)

Price

1) Espresso has a wide range of differently priced food and beverage, so that people from all walks of lives can get their suitable food and beverage over there. (Advantage)

Design

1) The lamplight is white and too bright. It cannot create a very relaxing atmosphere. (Disadvantage)

2) Besides that, all its chairs don’t have cushion, and most of its chairs are so straight. I don’t think sitting there and drinking a cup of coffee over there can swipe the pressure away. (Disadvantage)

My Opinion

In my opinion, the chairs there should be with cushions, and the chairs should not be too straight. It is best; if there can have some sofa with small pillows.

3) It gets white walls which hanging only some pictures. It thinks the walls are not seriously designed. They’re too monotonous. (Disadvantage)

My opinion

In my opinion, the master of the espresso should do something to make the walls finer and use the walls to create a home feeling. They can make a shelf on the walls, and place some good magazines and bonsais. They can also put some small accessories and fine cups there.

Interview

1) Gan Jia Hou (18): Espresso is the most standard café in Tangkak. Its espresso gets strong aromas. I like to prepare my exam over there from afternoon to night.

2) Chai Meng kiong (18): I like its Tom Yam Soup.

3) Chong Ho Soon (20): I have gone there for two times. I actually don’t like it very much.

4) Brian (the boss of Le Garden Cafe) (30): It got good business, because it is in the bus station and the middle of the town.

5) Ong Hock Sing(26): It’s too expensive.

Beverage

1. Hot Chocolate

Starbucks hot chocolate is hotter and stronger. Completely different from Starbucks, its hot chocolate does not get aromas and cream. (Disadvantage)

My opinion

In my opinion, its hot chocolate should be as strong as Starbuck’s and it should provide customers with spoon. Customers can blend it while drinking it, so that we can prevent it from precipitating. If the chocolate precipitate, it would be very disgusting while taking the last bite.

2. Roasted Almond Latte Blended

After drinking it over there, I just discovered that actually “ Almond xxx” type of beverage does not have real almond. However, its roasted almond does not get aromas. It let me think of Starbucks dark mocha which contains very good roasted coffee aromas. (Disadvantage)

Food

1. Black Pepper Chicken Chop

Its black pepper chicken chop is quite nice. It is hot and not to spicy. I still miss it. (Advantage)

2. Chicken Popcorn

Its chicken popcorn is quite nice, but it seems to be a bit too hard. (Disadvantage)

3. Signature Fried Rice

It’s okay, but not special enough to be signature food. (Disadvantage)

Staff

Its staff does not have a good mastery of English and that they are not well-trained. It seems that they get no big difference from the staff of a Kopitiam.
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Hi Lucus;
You posted a very long piece of text, so I only corrected part of it.
You should pay more attention to plurals.

Cheers,
A-Emotion: stars

Research Theme: Espresso
Date:3 July 2010
Orientation
1) Espresso looks more like a normal restaurant which sells some coffee. (You use more and there is no than in the sentence. Either delete more or add the comparative) Completely unlike Starbucks, coffee is not the main course of Espresso.
This type of restaurant has a better development (is better suited for a small town) in a small town, as there are not many people who will pays a high price cost for a cup of quality coffee, as there are not many white collars (white-collar workers) with high salaries.(Advantage)

Price
1) Espresso has a wide range of differently priced food and beverages, so that people from all walks of life lives can get their suitable food and beverage over there (afford to eat here). (Advantage)

Design
1) The lamplight (lighting) is white and too bright, so it does not have. It cannot create a very relaxing atmosphere. (Disadvantage)
2) Besides that, all its chairs don’t have cushions, and most of its chairs them are so (too) straight. I don’t think sitting there and drinking a cup of coffee over there can swipe the pressure away. (swipe the pressure away is not correct. Do you mean it's neither comfortable nor relaxing?) (Disadvantage)
My Opinion
In my opinion, the chairs there should have be with cushions, and the chairs should not be too straight. It is best; (no semicolon here) if there they could can have some sofas with small pillows.

3) It has gets white walls with which hanging only some (a few) pictures. It thinks the walls are not seriously designed. (Do you mean that the restaurant's decor is not well-designed?) They’re too monotonous. (Disadvantage)
My opinion
In my opinion, the owner master of the Espresso should do something to make the walls finer and use the walls to create a homey feeling. They can put up some shelves on the walls with make a shelf on the walls, and place some good magazines and bonsais. They can also put some small accessories and fine cups there.

Interview
1) Gan Jia Hou (18): Espresso is the most standard (popular?) café in Tangkak. Its espresso has a gets strong aromas. I like to prepare for my exams over there from afternoon to night.
2) Chai Meng kiong (18): I like its Tom Yam Soup.
3) Chong Ho Soon (20): I have gone there for two times. I actually don’t like it very much.
4) Brian (the boss of Le Garden Cafe) (30): It is a got good business, because it is in the bus station and the middle of the town.
5) Ong Hock Sing(26): It’s too expensive.

[/quote]
Comments  
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Hi! good everning everyone.

Thank AlpheccaStars for correcting it for me!

Although part of the sentence was corrected, but I still got some problem.

It gets white walls with only a few pictures.

It has white walls with only a few pictures.

Why the first sentence has to change into the second sentence?

I am really interested in the better vision of the below writing.

Could any one correct the below writing for me?

Great thanks in advance.

Thanks a lot!

Beverage

1. Hot Chocolate

Starbucks hot chocolate is hotter and stronger. Completely different from Starbucks, its hot chocolate does not get aromas and cream. (Disadvantage)

My opinion

In my opinion, its hot chocolate should be as strong as Starbuck’s and it should provide customers with spoon. Customers can blend it while drinking it, so that we can prevent it from precipitating. If the chocolate precipitate, it would be very disgusting while taking the last bite.

2. Roasted Almond Latte Blended

After drinking it over there, I just discovered that actually “ Almond xxx” type of beverage does not have real almond. However, its roasted almond does not get aromas. It let me think of Starbucks dark mocha which contains very good roasted coffee aromas. (Disadvantage)

Food



1. Black Pepper Chicken Chop

Its black pepper chicken chop is quite nice. It is hot and not to spicy. I still miss it. (Advantage)

2. Chicken Popcorn

Its chicken popcorn is quite nice, but it seems to be a bit too hard. (Disadvantage)

3. Signature Fried Rice

It’s okay, but not special enough to be signature food. (Disadvantage)

Staff

Its staff does not have a good mastery of English and that they are not well-trained. It seems that they get no big difference from the staff of a Kopitiam.
Lucus OngIt gets white walls with only a few pictures.
It has white walls with only a few pictures.
The verb get does not fit this sentence.
I only get something when someone gives it to me. It does not make sense for a building to get walls. Who would give walls to a building?

You can say:
The owner painted the walls stark white and hung a few pictures. It is not pleasant at all.

Please try to improve the rest of your essay, first and then post it again.

Hint: Hot chocolate does not get aromas. Aroma is smell - aromas come naturally from food, they are not given.