Hi, guys! Could you please spend some time checking my report. Any advice/criticism is very much welcome Emotion: smile I would also love to hear your overall impression. Thank you in advance!

This is the task:
You are a student in the Information Technology Department of and international college. You have been asked to write a report for an international survey about how the students in your college use the Internet. You should cover the following points:
· Current use ( e.g. how much it's used, where is it used and what for)
· Benefits and disadvantages (if any)
· Future use in college ( e.g in the classroom)
Write your report in 220-260 words.

Introduction
The aims of this report are to:
· give an overview of how the Internet is currently being used by students and young people in general
· comment on the positive and negative impact of the Internet
· recommend ways of interpreting it with future studies and courses
As preparation for this report I interviewed a cross-section of students at my college.

Current Use
The people I interviewed spend on average an estimated time of 5 hours a day in front of the computer. About two thirds of them use it as a utility to interact with their close relatives and friends. The rest use it mainly to conduct different types of research on various school-related topics. The ones who couldn't afford to have a computer mostly used the internet-café at our college.

Positive and negative impact
Although some of the students I interviewed said that the Internet was highly beneficial to their education and that it played a crucial role in their off-class studies by giving access to a great source of information, the general feeling was that nearly 90 percent of them agree that they spend too much time in front of the computer wasting valuable time instead of doing activities of greater importance

Recommendations
Having heard a lot of different opinions, I can say with no hesitation that due to the fast development of digital media, computers ought to be implemented in future study systems. There should be at least one computer per classroom as information is becoming a lot more accessible and you do not need to waste a large amount of time to look for a specific book or file.
Hi,

Structure and layout (eg. use of headings) of your report are fine. Emotion: smile
(As usual, I'll leave it to natives and teachers to comment on grammar, style and vocabulary.)

What I'd suggest is avoiding the use of "I" ( e.g. I interviewed..., I can say...), as some consider it as a bit too personal for a formal/academic piece of writing as the report.
Some teachers advocate either using passive sentences (I interviewed a cross-section of students at my college => a cross-section of students were interviewed*) , or paraphrases (The people I interviewed => The interviewees). Some say that if you cannot use these, the first plural person would be better than the first singular, because it's more impersonal.

I don't know if this makes any sense to you, but that's what I was taught when preparing the CAE and thought I'd share it with you.

Good luck. Emotion: smile

_____________

Emotion: thinking I'm wondering whether "a cross-section of..." takes was or were. I'd say were (notional concord, number transparency etc.), but I'd better ask the experts!!!
TanitHi,Structure and layout (eg. use of headings) of your report are fine. (As usual, I'll leave it to natives and teachers to comment on grammar, style and vocabulary.)What I'd suggest is avoiding the use of "I" ( e.g. I interviewed..., I can say...), as some consider it as a bit too personal for a formal/academic piece of writing as the report. Some teachers advocate either using passive sentences (I interviewed a cross-section of students at my college => a cross-section of students were interviewed*) , or paraphrases (The people I interviewed => The interviewees). Some say that if you cannot use these, the first plural person would be better than the first singular, because it's more impersonal.I don't know if this makes any sense to you, but that's what I was taught when preparing the CAE and thought I'd share it with you.Good luck. _____________ I'm wondering whether "a cross-section of..." takes was or were. I'd say were (notional concord, number transparency etc.), but I'd better ask the experts!!!
Thank you for your mindblowingly fast answer Emotion: smile I definitely agree with your opinion about the passive sentences!
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What kinds of opinions? Give me some examples.
You made your judgement, but typically there's a format to be used in these situations. Give me your statement (what you think), your reasoning (why you think that), and 3 pieces of evidence. Use solid fact, not just opinion. Then write your conclusion. I really hate writing this format, but it makes for a great essay.
One last problem: a paragraph needs to be around 3-5 sentences, okay?
Other than that, your essay was not bad at all. You used some good, descriptive words, your grammar was fantastic, and you didn't say the same thing over and over. Make a few changes and you're as good as gold!
Blue RosesWhat kinds of opinions? Give me some examples.You made your judgement, but typically there's a format to be used in these situations. Give me your statement (what you think), your reasoning (why you think that), and 3 pieces of evidence. Use solid fact, not just opinion. Then write your conclusion. I really hate writing this format, but it makes for a great essay.One last problem: a paragraph needs to be around 3-5 sentences, okay?Other than that, your essay was not bad at all. You used some good, descriptive words, your grammar was fantastic, and you didn't say the same thing over and over. Make a few changes and you're as good as gold!
Thank you Emotion: smile Could you please explain what you mean by "Give me some examples" ? And could you give me an example of giving the type of evidence, which you've mentioned in your post? And I would like to know if your talking about my conclusion in particular or my letter in general. Thank you in advance Emotion: smile
By give me some examples, I meant, say:
"One student, Mary Sue, proclaims 'I spend so much of my time on the internet, studying. I think it is a valuable tool for students.' The next student interviewed, Jane Everard, says 'The internet could be useful, but most students waste their time on Facebook or AddictingGames rather than doing something productive.'"
Evidence: "90% of students surveyed use the internet on a regular basis." Then you write from there. More evidence: "83% of teachers surveyed allow the use of the internet in their assignments." I'm not saying to use these, they're just there to show you some examples.
I was talking about your report in general. It's good to keep it short and sweet, but don't shortchange the detail. Just do your best!
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Blue RosesBy give me some examples, I meant, say:"One student, Mary Sue, proclaims 'I spend so much of my time on the internet, studying. I think it is a valuable tool for students.' The next student interviewed, Jane Everard, says 'The internet could be useful, but most students waste their time on Facebook or AddictingGames rather than doing something productive.'"Evidence: "90% of students surveyed use the internet on a regular basis." Then you write from there. More evidence: "83% of teachers surveyed allow the use of the internet in their assignments." I'm not saying to use these, they're just there to show you some examples.I was talking about your report in general. It's good to keep it short and sweet, but don't shortchange the detail. Just do your best!
What an amazing piece of advice. Thank you so much. Keep up the good work!!!