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Please help me clean up this essay! I don't need a deep analysis, just looking for ways to better organize my ideas because my classmate that revised it said that they seemed a bit "scattered". Keep in mind this is an essay for the class titled "Honors 103" and we were only to cite from one source, so it is an opinion-based paper. Thank you. Emotion: smile

The Value of a Good Education

This paper is based upon the service reading our Honors 103 class was assigned this semester, “The Changing Purposes of Education and Schooling”. It goes into detail on how to find the answers to questions involving education, such as what its purpose is and how to decide if it is beneficial. It focuses on the purpose of emphasizing education in society today.

The article causes one to focus on something that affects every one of our lives today: education. However, it takes us into depth by making us question it from different viewpoints. “The Changing Purposes of Education and Schooling” takes us to a level in which we analyze the reasons people pursue education and why society has provided it to us for centuries.

After reading the article, I have formed the conclusion that education has many different purposes, some of which aren’t obvious. Along with gaining valuable knowledge and expanding your horizons in ways you wouldn’t have without an education, you also inherit skills that benefit you throughout life.

Schooling teaches social skills and personal hygiene, which will help you with everything from making friends to getting a job to buying a place to live. One must be able to properly present themselves to others in order to function in society. Along with these skills, I believe that education is valuable because society itself values it. These days, it is very difficult to get a well-paying job without furthering education past high school. I believe that it is the most worthwhile thing a person can invest their time in money in, because it makes such a huge difference on your value of life.

Mainly, in my pursuit of education, I want to gain knowledge about the world around me and beyond. I want to be a fully functional member of society, both in human interactions and in my own ways of thinking. I also treasure the value of a high school and college diploma in the corporate world and want to obtain a well-paying job so I can create a good life for myself.

Society values the meaning of a good education. In “The Changing Purposes of Education and Schooling” it states that “The incipient democratization of schooling, particularly at the secondary level, allowed employers to raise their expectations regarding workers’ preemployment preparation.” This means that when formal schooling began to be emphasized in the nineteenth century, job employers began to require a high school education in order to be applicable. The absence of a high school degree is oftentimes frowned upon in today’s society, just because it is so essential to our lives. Education “balances” a person and keeps them well-rounded. Oftentimes, if a person is ignorant or culturally unaware, lack of education is to blame.

Along with the values it holds in society, education also gives us numerous social skills and benefits, especially by those who are in public schools rather than home or online schooled. The article says “...the socialization process that takes place in American schools... prepares young people to assume their future roles as American citizens.” It teaches you to appreciate our culture from a young age, and creates ties to the rest of society. We learn cultural norms, such as brushing your teeth and how to hold a proper conversation with someone. It is impossible to succeed in a society if you do not acknowledge its cultural norms.

Education teaches one social skills that benefit them in all areas of life, from a church setting to family. Schools are not only about attaining knowledge about books and facts, but also about life lessons. You learn that you must constantly work to get ahead in life and that everything you do can have good or bad consequences.

Then there is the obvious purpose of a good education: career employment. Students are pushed not only by teachers but by family members to take education seriously because it is so important in the corporate world. According to the article, “Over a third of the undergraduates at public institutions and slightly fewer of those at private ones say that if college did not increase their prospects for employment they would drop out.” This is a very true statement to me. In my family, having an education is valued, if not forced upon us undergraduates. This is because every valuable job on the market requires a college education, not only because it’s a huge qualifier, but because it shows that the person had the determination and skills to continue their education, even if the process is long and hard.

Along with giving valuable vocational training to undergraduates, education bars children from attaining jobs that adults need. With the economy today, many adults are unemployed and need jobs to take care of their families. If a person is not in school and out in the workforce instead, an adult who really needs a certain job can be denied of it because of a child filling the position. Schools also give adults a place to send their child for a day, meaning that they have time to have a job and make money for their families.

School also does the obvious. It expands horizons and gives basic and excessive knowledge on the world around us. When we are in high school, we learn about things that seem unimportant, but the truth is that it gives us a basis for more extensive knowledge. You can’t learn about calculus if you haven’t learned basic arithmetic, and you can’t write a research paper if you didn’t learn spelling and grammar.

In college, the exchange of knowledge becomes much more detailed. The student gets to make their own decisions on what they are interested in learning and eventually makes decisions about future jobs based on what they learned. College teaches a student what they are good at and gives them the knowledge to think extensively about certain topics that they would never be able to process without a good education.

The article states, “...of the two main goals of the college, teaching a student how to use his mind was paramount [in comparison to furnishing the mind].” And it’s true. Along with encouraging a person to learn about the world, it helps them to learn about themselves and creates a sense of well-being. The student, in a nutshell, learns how to think.

Service learning helps one with gaining awareness of the world around them. I believe that it has prepared me to play an active role in my society by volunteering. Education shapes and reshapes society, and I want to play a part in its reformation. Service learning gives one the feeling of having a connection to society and gives a form of knowledge that one can only attain by truly experiencing it.

Especially when tutoring children, the feeling of one’s importance in society is unbelievable. There are children who would not be in school or would be struggling with it if they did not have tutors helping them along. They are a source of motivation and inspiration because they are living proof to the child that you can indeed go far in life with an education, and that attaining a good education is possible.

All in all, this article, along with Honors 103, introduced me to the many ways that education can be beneficial to a person. I realized that a good education can not only get you far in the corporate world, but that it can get you far in society. People around the world value an education and I now feel that I have a better understanding as to why. It is a never ending experience that forms the basis of creative thought, and creates a powerful mind with which one can accomplish nearly anything.
Comments  
Disclaimer: The following suggestions are my opinion; I'm not an expert.

By the indents looks like you have a total of 5 paragraphs? (from now on I will refer to paragraph as ¶). But I will assume that this is a mistake, and you actually have a total of 15 ¶s. With that said, let's begin.

Because you are talking in general about the book in ¶2 ("The article"), you may want to incorporate ¶2 with 1. Thus, making your introduction or ¶1 longer and making it stronger. The last sentence on ¶2 can very well serve as your thesis.

In ¶3, "After reading this article..." you can expand on what the purposes are in education since you stated that these purposes aren't obvious. Elaborate on it. Otherwise move this section to your conclusion, because it looks like you are ending your paper here.

In ¶4, "School teaches..." you give your opinion. Instead, explain how or why the author(s) praises the schools for teaching these things. Although, you do do this in ¶7. So you may want to just get rid of ¶4 and replace it with ¶7. Then move your opinions to the next paragraph--"Mainly, in my pursuit."

To me, ¶8, "Education teaches.." seems repetitive. I would just remove it all together.

Note: Below are the rules of Enlgish punctuation.

Per your request, I focused on global oganization, but I briefly want to mention something. The only correction for 'punctuation' I'm going to touch on which I think is important here is the proper use of quotation marks. (Note: Instead of giving you all the rules, I'm just going to focus on what's important in your case.) When referring to book titles, you either italicize or underline the book's title. You only use quotation marks when it is the title of chapters. By wrapping quotation marks around The Changing Purpose of Education and Schooling then you confuse the reader when you quote parts of the book; for exmaple, with ¶6.

I hope this helps.

-Karica
Ahh thank you so much! Finally someone who's specific. :] I appreciate it!
Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
You are welcome!

-Karica