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I would like to seek someone's comments on sentence structure and how to reduce the words of the following proposal.


Subject: Reduction of the number of complaints received from customers

Purpose

The purpose of this proposal is to report and discuss the findings with a view to making recommendations to reduce the number of complaints from customers and improve the quality of company services.

We identified two main areas that need correcting.

Problems

The annual report indicates that we respond to only 10% of complaints by email. Should this figure be increased? There are core problems received from customers including late delivery, staff unhelpful, goods damaged and wrong goods supplied.

Solutions

For replying to complaints, email is the best way to reply to complaints to save both time and resources.

Regarding the late delivery, wrong goods supplied and damaged goods, it is recommended that our company should invest more resources or outsource services to review the procedure and quality to improve services.

With regard to unhelpful staff, the provision of related training to staff can enhance the quality of their services.

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Purpose

The purpose of this proposal (??) is to report and discuss the findings (of what?) with a view to making (superfluous, vague, indirect) recommendations to reduce the number of complaints from customers and improve the quality of company services.

We identified two main areas that need correcting.


1. In this section, first state the problem being addressed.

The number of customer complaints has been unacceptably high.

2. State the purpose of the investigation.

A team was commissioned to uncover the root causes and recommend measures to reduce them with the goal of improving the quality of our services.

3. Summarize the report

This is the final report of the team. In it, we describe the sources of the most frequent complaints and propose three remedies.


Problems

The annual report (This kind of information would never be in a company's annual report!) indicates that we respond to only 10% of complaints by email. (This is very unsettling. Were the other 90% ignored completely? Were they answered by postal mail or a phone call? Did the lack of response generate more complaints? ) Should this figure be increased? There are core problems received from customers including (The boss would not be happy if you left out some of the reasons.) late delivery, staff unhelpful, goods damaged and wrong goods supplied.

Solutions

For replying to complaints, email is the best way to reply to complaints to save both time and resources. (You need to set a goal to raise the 10% number to a higher number.)

Regarding the late delivery, wrong goods supplied and damaged goods, it is recommended that our company should invest more resources or outsource services to review the procedure and quality to improve services.

With regard to unhelpful staff, the provision of related training to staff can enhance the quality of their services.