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Jeff lies on the floor, smeared with blood as a large piece of glass from a broken bottle has cut open his arm.


Is the sentence OK and constructed well?

Punctuation?

Which one of 'cut open his arm' and 'cut his arm open' do you prefer?

Comments  

Avoid "as" for "because". In fact, avoid "because". The comma is intrusive. How big does a bottle have to be to produce a large piece of glass when it breaks? There is a rule in fiction writing—show, don't tell—that makes it a mistake to just provide an explanation for why he has blood all over him.

anonymousWhich one of 'cut open his arm' and 'cut his arm open' do you prefer?

"Cut his arm open" is usual. When it doesn't matter, use what is usual. You don't want to distract the reader from the narrative with unusual wordings.