Hi
Please tell me if this sentence is correct.
A highly educated member of a wealthy and aristocratic Boston family, Percival Lowell was interested in astronomy due to his belief in canals on Mars, a view that modern astronomers dismiss as material for pop science fiction.
I think there should be a conjunction, semi-colon or a period between Mars and a view.
Please give your views.
Suresh
vsureshPlease give your views.
No, additional punctuation is not needed. The clause that begins with 'a view' is a reduced non-restrictive relative clause that modifies 'belief (in canals on Mars)'. The missing part (the part that represents the reduction) is shown in gray below.
... due to his belief in canals on Mars, (which is) a view that modern astronomers dismiss as material for pop science fiction.
CJ
Comments
Okay.
Thank you, CJ.
Suresh
Not so much.
Not at all. If the writer hadn't switched from "belief" to "view" for no good reason, the structure would be clearer: "his belief in canals on Mars, a belief that modern astronomers dismiss …."
The long introductory appositive phrase is absurdly irrelevant. It suggests that his family connections made him believe in canals. It's as if the writer was trying to pump up his sentence-length score in MS Word.
"Was interested" is clumsy at best. Did he become interested or was his interest the result of something?
People will tell you that "due to" does not need a noun to be due to nowadays, but it is still a style clinker the way this writer used it.