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As for marrying a virgin. If you are both virgins, than you have no one to compare to. No past relationships that come to mind, or worrying about if you or your spouse had practice because you have each other to learn from.

Finally, I think that it is the ultimate act of love in a relationship is proving your willing to wait, to me that is expression of love.

I'm sorry for making this so long, and I don't know if anyone will bother to read it, but I have to state my mind.

And props to blueclown, there are too many teenage guys who want to take advantage of every girl who comes along. It's rare, but many girls appreciate that quality. (Obviously) I hope you choose abstinence until marriage, but I hope that my opinion and information will be helpful in your decision.

Well, I agree with you Mr/Ms. anonymous. We must keep us away from the sex before marriage. The only natural and the precious thing we'd gift spouse is our PURENESS.

And I appreaciate Blueclown for it. I'm 29 and still maintaining it for the person to come into my life.

It worths more than million and is true satisfaction.

i've just turned 18 and i've had sex with two men. i'm not married, i don't even have a boyfriend at the moment but is that a problem? sex to me is a really wonderful thing, hot wild and rampant or slow and loving - no matter how you like it, i don't know one person who doesn't love it.

my first time was awful, admittedly but you live and learn. my last boyfriend (who i loved with all my heart, body and soul) and i had sex the first day we met.. when its the right thing to do, you know. you feel it.

i have no regrets and noones gonna make me feel like i'm a sinner. sex before marriage? yes please.
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Wouldn't be nice to hop in bed with only one guy in your life? Wouldn't it be nice to know that when you are having sex with the man you now love, that you will not be having memories of others. Wouldn't it be nice to know that because you haven't had sex with any
one else that you won't be spreading any STD's to your partner. Would n't it even be nicer to know that the man you are having sex with has never had sex with anyone else, so the you won't have to worry about getting an STD from him... Think about the good times that you can share with only one man. The are many reson why not to have sex before marraige, but best of all is because that's the way God want's it to be.... take it from expierence...
Anonymous but best of all is because that's the way God want's it to be.... take it from expierence...

Don't you just love it- bring Gods' name into a debate just to add weight to your opinion! Thought we weren't supposed to use his name in vain?

Anon. exactly which God are we referring too? There are quite a few trogging around this planet apparently! Where and when did he/she/it say all this? Experience?? he/she/it spoke to you???

No I'm not 'getting ' at you , it struck so funny at that point. Shame really, reasonable up to the God bit.

What's wrong with a few happy memories? you could say the same thing about not having memories of going out for a meal with another person, or not having memories of having been to the cinema with another person, or not having memories of kissing another person.
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Response from a Christian women who has been married to the same man for over 25 years and has a sexually active daughter.

From my own experience sex before marrage can't compare to sex after marriage. Think about all the different flavors of food. There are that many different flavors of sex. Think about all the different songs and melodies. Sex is that varried also. The sexual act with someone you totally trust, who is trying to meet your needs, who knows your body, your timming, your reactions can't be beat. Sometimes it rough and playful and sometimes it's sweet and tender. It can take years to explore the different types of music you can make together. No number of sexual acts before marriage can tell you what sex will be like after marriage. Some couples settle down to a single song other's continue to explore the variaty of music that they can make with there bodies. Even after 20 years of marriage there are times I think WOW another song of love. Because the tune of the act was so totally different then before.

I will be honest, we had sex before marriage, but one of the most important things we did during our courtship was to have a period of 6-8 weeks without sex so we could concentrate on our relationship. Also, if my man can control himself around me who he adors, loves and finds very attractive, why should I ever fear that he can't control himself around others and vice a versa. There will be times during marriage that sex will have to stop for a period. Surgury on either partner. Right before and after the birth of a baby. It would be good to know that your future partner/spouse can controll themselves before you make a marriage bond.

We are called to LOVE. Which is care and concern for the other person. Therefore if either partner is hesitant on this occasion. STOP. Control meeting the needs of the flesh. But don't harbor too much guilt over sharing an expression of love. After all we have an awesome God who forgives all our sins. Its not so much what we do as why we do it.

May God bless all the readers of this message to discern Gods will for them at this time.

The Unicorn LadyEmotion: big smile
While I certainly respect other peoples' faith and wisdom traditions, I don't feel that an argumentum ad verecundiam is a strong enough argument for supporting one stance or another. Of course it isn't an argument at all but a logical fallacy. Emotion: stick out tongue

For myself, I feel that this is another case of moderation being the best course of action. I think it depends on the individual's level of maturity. It may (and I strongly agree) be best for a twelve year-old to abstain, but should the same apply once that person is thirty? I think that there is a difference between young people engaging in sexual intercourse compared to someone who just isn't married.

For the immature person, I think it is better to wait until you really feel ready, and not just lusty. For the mature person, they should be able to decide for themselves, but my own belief is that monogamy is best, whether or not you have a piece of paper "certifying" your love.

As for what is right or wrong? I feel that is up to the individual (not that I am a complete moral relativist). Just my two cents.


For those not familiar with rhetoric:
Argumentum ad verecundiam
why can't people have sex before they are married, I think if you really love someone then it's alright because you have certain feelings towards them and now a days people of my generation would be extremely hipocritical to say that we haven't Emotion: wink so don't just say no sex before marriage when you haven't stated why might it not be such a good idea! so next time you should just do a little research on the subject!Emotion: stick out tongue
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I am a typical conservative girl and firmly stand by the oppositon of sex before marriage. The reasons are followings:

At first, once you have sex and don't finally get married, you will be hurt deeply, physically or psychologically. Especially for the conservative persons in some countries. Then I suggest that you should think about the consequence wether it is good or bad before you are resolved to have sex before marriage. You should be sure that you can survive the worst result: break up. I think most of time the heartbroken result hurt girls more. Why do I say like that. Because it is the girls who are going to get pregnent not the boys. Abortion will do harm the girls.The serious aftermath will lead to the infertility. People just set standard for the famel vergin in stead of the male. Then girls take heavy psychologic pressures about the virgin when they married the man who are not her first. Men get used to ask if you are a virgin. Of course, my alleged hurts matter nothing to bold and morden girls.

Secondly, this action will weaken the mystery of marriage and the respect towards marriage. However, that is just a feeling, the reason is unexplainable. Some people don't take the legal marriage license seriously and say it is just a paperwork which is useless in fact. However, I am going to ask this kind of people why you are unwilling to apply for the certificate if you love her or him. From my point of view, marriage certificate is just a paper, but once the it is wirrten in the law, it matters more.The marriage certificate means you are willing to take her/him as your wife/husband. And you want her to be accepted by the law and public as your wife/husband.

Any decision depends on you. However, remember to think about the result. Think before your leap.
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