Hi plz can I have some help .I don't know where to start

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You omitted 'walked'.

As a composition

She was in a state of shock when the police walked in.

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Yes as a composition
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There was a girl called Carol.She went to school almost everytime .When Carol come back she helped his mother chores and write her homework.Carol was very quiet she did not often laugh or smile ,but when she did it was as a curtain had been ripped apart and a ray of light allowed to shine through.One day when she went to school there was a student whose bag was stealed.The teacher was told the story but he just pray and said someone who steal will be soon seen.Carol went back home after school and prepared her delicious food.She finished eating and then wash her plates.She was in a state of shock when the police walked in.The police told him that she steal a bag and she refused
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