# Short Passage?

•  2
Could someone please edit this passage for me. Thank you very much.

Once there were ten brothers. They were fishermen.

One fine morning, they went to catch fish in the sea. They caught many fish. When the sun was about to set, they decided to go home. Before they went home, the eldest brother decided to make sure that none of them was missing.

So the eldest brother asked his brothers to line up side by side so that he could count them. Looking at his brothers in front of him, he counted, “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.” He was shocked. “One of us is missing,” he said sadly.

Then the other brothers took turns to count, and finally they were sure that one of them was missing.
Do you realise that one of the brothers isn't missing at all? The eldest hasn't counted himself - he only counted his 9 brothers and if he includes himself, then that makes 10.

Apart from that, it reads fine as simple English.
Hi,

Once there were ten brothers. They were fishermen.

One fine morning, they went to catch fish in the sea. They caught many fish. When the sun was about to set, they decided to go home. Before they went home, the eldest brother decided to make sure that none of them were missing.

So, the eldest brother asked his brothers to line up side by side so that he could count them. Looking at his brothers in front of him, he counted, “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.” He was shocked. “One of us is missing,” he said sadly.

Then the other brothers took turns to count, and finally they were sure that one of them was missing.

A few suggestions. Don't repeat words close together, like 'fish' or 'home' or 'brothers'.

Put a comma after 'so'.

Say '. . . none of them were missing'.

Best wishes, Clive
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Hi Tidus

I'm aware that each of the brothers didn't count himself. But this is just a story.

Thank you very much for going through my passage and saying it's okay.

Best regards