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A very short passage meant for Year 2 students. Please edit it for me. Any suggestions to improve the passage are welcome. Thanks in advance.

Lily and Jill were walking home together after school. They were neighbours.

The sky was very dark. Soon it began to rain heavily. They ran to the bus stop to take shelter there. Then they waited and waited till the rain stopped. After about an hour when the rain had stopped, they walked home together.

Soon they reached Lily’s house and they said goodbye to each other
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Lily and Jill were neighbors, and they were walking home together after school one afternoon.

The sky became very dark, and soon it began to rain heavily. They ran to a bus stop to take shelter. They waited there for about an hour until the rain stopped, then walked home together.

Soon they reached Lily’s house and said goodbye to each other.
Comments  
Mister Micawber

Many thanks for editing the passage. The edited version is certainly an improvement over the original version.

With warmest wishes