+0
Hi guys

Please go through this short story and edit it for me. Please note that it's meant for 1st-year students. Thank you in advance.

Once a woodcutter went to the forest to fell trees. As he was doing so, he accidentally dropped his axe into the river. He was very sad because that was the only axe he had. Soon a fairy appeared and asked him, “Is this silver axe yours?” “No,” he replied. Then the fairy dived into the river and came out with a golden axe. “Is this yours?” she asked. ‘No, it’s not mine.” Again the fairy went into the river and this time she appeared with an iron axe. “Is this yours?” Seeing his axe, the woodcutter was very happy and said, “Yes, it’s mine. Thank you very much.”

Seeing his honesty, the fairy once again jumped into the water and came up with the golden and silver axes. She said, “You’re an honest man. Therefore, I shall give you both the axes. The woodcutter refused to take them, but the fairy just left the axes on the ground and dived into the river and was never seen again.

The woodcutter then took the two axes home. He was very happy.
1 2
Comments  
Yoong LiatHi guys

Please go through this short story and edit it for me. Please note that it's meant for 1st-year students. Thank you in advance.

Once a woodcutter went to the forest to fell trees. As he was doing so, he accidentally dropped his axe into the river. He was very sad because that was the only axe he had. Soon a fairy appeared and asked him, “Is this silver axe yours?” “No,” he replied. Then the fairy dived into the river and came out with a golden axe. “Is this yours?” she asked. ‘No, it’s not mine.” Again the fairy went into the river and this time she appeared with an iron axe. “Is this yours?” Seeing his axe, the woodcutter was very happy and said, “Yes, it’s mine. Thank you very much.”

Seeing his honesty, the fairy once again jumped into the water and came up with the golden and silver axes. She said, “You’re an honest man. Therefore, I shall give you both the axes." The woodcutter refused to take them, but the fairy just left the axes on the ground, and dived into the river and was never seen again.

The woodcutter then took the two axes home. He was very happy.
The sentence in which the fairy first appears needs rewriting - otherwise why does she ask the woodcutter about a silver axe?

In the last sentence, you say he takes two axes home, but he surely has three?
Yes, she needs to dive into the river before exhibiting the silver axe. Seeing his axe and Seeing his honesty in consecutive sentences is stylistically not so good; I would change one of them a bit. Was never seen again is too final; I would change it to disappeared. Otherwise, I think the level and the style is fine for students, Yoong Liat-- though I don't know what your first-year students are like, actually.
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Thanks, Micawber and Feebs11, for your constructive comments. I'm glad to have received the help of a couple of members. Thanks to them too.

Micawber wrote: "Yoong Liat-- though I don't know what your first-year students are like, actually."

The short compositions which I've posted are meant for 1st-year students in Singapore generally. That's why I'm so particular about them being edited by fellow members.
thats very cute, but why not give the story alittle more- perhaps something the woodcutter did to make good use of the 2 new axes the fairy gave him for his honesty.
Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
You're right. The ending should be something like that.

He sold both the silver and golden axes and, with the large amount of money earned, he and his wife lived happily ever after.
Oh! This is originally a piece of Korean Folk Tale.

The woodcutter is the same, but fairy was originally, Shin-Son(神仙), which is some kind of spiritually ascended human being, actually almost God.

The Shin-Son are believed to be living several hundred years, not eating meats.

The typical feature of them is very old man, with white hair, white eye-brow, and white long beard+whisker+mustache....

Korea has so many folk tales about the Shin-sons, and about other things.

In particular, folk tales of Jeju-do(Jeju island), deals with the beginning of the whole universe, which is pretty rare in the folk tales of the mainland.

In Korean version, the woodcutter gets the Gold axe not both the gold and silver axe.
Thanks, this is like a rumour. When a story is passed on from one person to another through a long period, things change.
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
Show more