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Well, well, well, I've found out that "Aretha" is Mike's middle name. Anyway, I'm not surprised.
I just got an email from Aretha. She wants to set the record straight. She says that she has never visited "Mike's Apartment", and that her time spent in "Mike's Cranny" was only the result of following directions given by a certain masked staff member at EnglishForward. She also says that reports of her fondness for pak choi are true. She says she is not at all ashamed of this, and that she is prepared to give a demonstration of her pak choi talents at Neverland on the 11th of this month. She wishes to thank all those that have supported her through these difficult times.
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Here's the very proof of what I said. Indeed, how could he know so much about her if he's not himself Aretha?