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Hello readers,

Which of the following sentences sound better? It is part of a very important report and I need to sounds as precise as possible. I would further appriciate your version of this sentence...

1.) I once simultaneously juggled 5 classes (which of these 2 is a better word choice -->worth/tallying???) 17 semester units, and served a country at war.

2.) I once juggled 5 classes (which of these 2 is a better word choice -->worth/tallying???) 17 semester units, and served a country at war simultaneously.

3.) I once juggled 5 classes (which of these 2 is a better word choice -->worth/tallying???) 17 semester units, and simultaneously served a country at war.

Note - Should I replace the word with "At the same time", or does the word simultaneous make me me sound more literate?

Thanks,

~Akki
Comments  
AkkiHello readers,

Which of the following sentences sound better? It is part of a very important report and I need to sounds as precise as possible. I would further appriciate your version of this sentence...

1.) I once simultaneously juggled 5 classes (which of these 2 is a better word choice -->worth/tallying???) 17 semester units, and served a country at war.

2.) I once juggled 5 classes (which of these 2 is a better word choice -->worth/tallying???) 17 semester units, and served a country at war simultaneously.

3.) I once juggled 5 classes (which of these 2 is a better word choice -->worth/tallying???) 17 semester units, and simultaneously served a country at war.

Note - Should I replace the word with "At the same time", or does the word simultaneous make me me sound more literate?

Thanks,

~Akki



I [had] once juggled 5 classes 17 semester units, and served my country at war simultaneously. I chose to use past perfect tense simply because I wanted to emphasize the length of the juggling and serving your country at the same time.

Simutaneously means "same time" which I would say, yes, it's more literal.
Hi Akki,

1.) I once simultaneously juggled 5 classes (which of these 2 is a better word choice -->worth/tallying???) 17 semester units, and served a country at war.

2.) I once juggled 5 classes (which of these 2 is a better word choice -->worth/tallying???) 17 semester units, and served a country at war simultaneously.

3.) I once juggled 5 classes (which of these 2 is a better word choice -->worth/tallying???) 17 semester units, and simultaneously served a country at war.

Note - Should I replace the word with "At the same time", or does the word simultaneous make me me sound more literate?

I prefer I once juggled 5 classes, worth a total of 17 semester units, and served my country at war, all at the same time.

'Simultaeously' does not give quite the same sense that you did this for a prolonged period.

served a country at war This is quite a dramatic phrase that does not 'balance' with the more minor details of your education. Was your country actually at war, or were you in the army at a time of peace? I suggest . . . and served my country in the army (at a time of war) . . .

Simple Past is fine. There is no reason here to use Past Perfect.

Best wishes, Clive
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As I had indicated, I opted to use past perfect for the explained reason. Of course, In many cases, simple past tense would just get the idea across fine. It’s a matter of personal preference, or perhaps a writing style as long as it’s within the logical and grammatical confine of English.

That’s just my own opinion…
Hi Goodman,

When I hear I had once juggled 5 classes 17 semester units, and served my country at war simultaneously, what I think is that you are telling me this relative to some other point in the past. No such point is specified here. Perhaps if we had the full context and it included this kind of additional information, Past Perfect would be fine.

Best wishes, Clive
CliveHi Akki,

1.) I once simultaneously juggled 5 classes (which of these 2 is a better word choice -->worth/tallying???) 17 semester units, and served a country at war.

2.) I once juggled 5 classes (which of these 2 is a better word choice -->worth/tallying???) 17 semester units, and served a country at war simultaneously.

3.) I once juggled 5 classes (which of these 2 is a better word choice -->worth/tallying???) 17 semester units, and simultaneously served a country at war.

Note - Should I replace the word with "At the same time", or does the word simultaneous make me me sound more literate?

I prefer I once juggled 5 classes, worth a total of 17 semester units, and served my country at war, all at the same time.

'Simultaeously' does not give quite the same sense that you did this for a prolonged period.

served a country at war This is quite a dramatic phrase that does not 'balance' with the more minor details of your education. Was your country actually at war, or were you in the army at a time of peace? I suggest . . . and served my country in the army (at a time of war) . . .

Simple Past is fine. There is no reason here to use Past Perfect.

Best wishes, Clive

Hello, I am in the US Air Force...shall I still not use the pharase "our country at war"???
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Hi,

I am in the US Air Force...shall I still not use the pharase "our country at war"???


I didn't say the writer shouldn't say it. I just asked if his country was at war. Not every country is, you know, and I don't think he had said what his country was.

I also suggested that such important military service didn't 'balance' well in a sentence that also talked about relatively minor educational details.

Best wishes, Clive