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Could you help me to correct them?

Lily is my neighbour, Her hobby is singing. Last Friday, her school held a singing competition in the school hall. The hall was decorated beautifully with some colourful balloons and some colourful ribbons. Many parents came to watch the singing competition.

Lily also took part in the competition. Five minutes later, the competition / it was started. She sang the song sweetly and won first. She was as happy as a lark.

Then, Lily received the first prize from the headmistress. Her parents and pupils clapped loudly. Her parents were very proud of her. Lily aspires to become a singer when she grows up.
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I have underlined some problem areas. Please correct them and re-post:

Lily is my neighbour, Her hobby is singing. Last Friday, her school held a singing competition in the school hall. The hall was decorated beautifully with some colourful balloons and some colourful ribbons. Many parents came to watch the singing competition.

Lily also took part in the competition. Five minutes later, the competition / it was started. She sang the song sweetly and won first. She was as happy as a lark.

Then, Lily received the first prize from the headmistress. Her parents and pupils clapped loudly. Her parents were very proud of her. Lily aspires to become a singer when she grows up.
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Lily is my neighbor, Her hobby is singing. Last Friday, her school held a singing competition in the school hall. The hall was decorated beautifully with some colourful balloons and ribbons. Many parents came to see the singing competition.

Lily also took part in the competition. Five minutes later, the competition / it started. She sang a song sweetly and won the first place / and came first. She was as happy as a lark.

Then, Lily received the first prize from the headmistress. Her parents and all pupils clapped loudly. Her parents were very proud of her. Lily aspires to become a singer when she grows up.
Lily is my neighbor. Her hobby is singing. Last Friday, her school held a singing competition in the school hall. The hall was decorated beautifully with some colourful balloons and ribbons. Many parents came to hear the singing competition.

Lily also took part in the competition. Five minutes later, the competition / it started. She sang a song sweetly and won first place / and came first. She was as happy as a lark.

Then, Lily received the first prize from the headmistress. Her parents and all the pupils clapped loudly. Her parents were very proud of her. Lily aspires to become a singer when she grows up.