+0
Japan has long been known for disrespecting privacy. Recently, the goverment forces its citizens to slim down, a move to combat obesity. It's driven by higher insurance premium for obese people. Every employee across the state must meet its waistline requirements, 90 cm for women and 93 for men. Some companies encourage their employees to take the stairs, some encourage to exercise by playing exercise music twice a day through loudspeakers. Employees are feeling the pressure. If they don't slim down, they will be fined.

Please correct any mistakes.
Thanks.
Comments  
Japan has long been known for disrespecting privacy. Recently, the government has begun forcing its citizens to slim down, in a move to combat obesity It's driven by higher insurance premiums for obese people. Every employee across the state must meet its waistline requirements of 90 cm for women and 93 cm for men. Some companies encourage their employees to take the stairs, and some encourage them to exercise by playing exercise music twice a day through loudspeakers. Employees are feeling the pressure. If they don't slim down, they will be fined.

I couldn't entirely see what this has to do with disrepecting privacy.
Mr. Wordy, Thanks. What would you call the regulation? It doesn't sound liberal to me.
Mr WordyI couldn't entirely see what this has to do with disrepecting privacy.
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
I guess you could say "Japan has long been known for its tightly controlled society", if you're happy that's the case.
Mr Wordyif you're happy that's the case.
Thank you, Mr. Wordy. I don't quite understand your above comment. Are you saying your suggestion "tightly controlled society" doesn't carry a negative connotation to readers? If so, it's quite the opposite of what I want. I actually think that society should be given more freedom.
New2grammar
Mr Wordyif you're happy that's the case.
Thank you, Mr. Wordy. I don't quite understand your above comment. Are you saying your suggestion "tightly controlled society" doesn't carry a negative connotation to readers? If so, it's quite the opposite of what I want. I actually think that society should be given more freedom.

Sorry, I think that this idiomatic phrase may have caused confusion. It doesn't mean that you agree a tightly controlled society is a good thing and you're pleased that Japan is that way. It means "If you're satisfied that the statement is true, or at least acceptable for your purposes". In other words, I didn't want my suggestion to be taken as a personal endorsement or recommendation of the sentiments expressed.

In this context, "tightly controlled society" is consistent with the author having a negative or mildly negative view (to put a positive spin on it, you would say something like "well regulated society"). But it's not as strongly negative as your original "disrespecting". If you want to preserve that much negativity then you could say "Japan has long been known for disrespecting personal choice", or, even stronger, "... disrespecting individual freedoms". But my guess is that my first suggestion fits your objective.
Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
Thank you, Mr. Wordy.