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People have different views about whether old people would bring more benefits or drawbacks for business, government and for society in general. Although it can be argued that old people can cause several challenges, I believe that the advantages they bring would be bigger.

On the one hand, some people are convinced that an aging population can cause many disadvantages . Firstly, old people can negatively affect the development of companies. This is because they have low technological abilities while the young can catch up with the latest technical trend instantly and excel in computers. As a result, there will be less innovation and change in organization. Secondly, the generation can put a heavy pressure on the government and society. When there are more old people, there will be more pensions and healthcare services. Therefore, the government can suffer from financial problems. Besides , some old people who don't have any pensions can be a burden for their families.

On the other hand, from my view point, this generation can bring more benefits. To begin with, old people can perform better than the young as they have accumulated more skills and experiences. Therefore, they can bring valid values to the companies. Furthermore, there are more old people, there will be more volunteers for the economy. After a long time working, almost all old people have earned enough money that they can be willing to pay comfortably. This can help the economy improve and thrive.

In conclusion, while it is true that old people can cause many problems , I would completely agree that this generation can contribute a lot to business, governments and society in general.


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People have different views about whether old people would bring more benefits or drawbacks for business, government and for society in general. Although it can be argued that old people can cause several challenges, I believe that the advantages they bring are much more significant. would be bigger.

"Big" is a primary school word; so is "huge". You will get more points for lexical range if you use higher-level academic words.

Also, make your assertions more emphatic.


On the one hand, some people are convinced that an aging population can cause many disadvantages . Firstly, First, old people who are still working can negatively affect the development of their company's progress.

(You need to be explicit in setting the circumstances. Most older people are retired and not working. How can that affect the development of companies?)

This is because they have low technological abilities technical skills while the young can catch keep up with the latest technical trend instantly and excel in the use of computers. As a result, (wrong transition. ) With more older people on the payroll, there will be less innovation and change in the organization. Secondly, Second, the generation (Old or young?) can put a heavy pressure on the government and society. When there are more old people, there will be more pensions and healthcare services. Therefore, the government can have budgetary shortfalls. suffer from financial problems. (There is no issue with "financial problems", but it is quite low-level vocabulary.) Besides , some old people who don't (do not use contractions in formal writing,) have any pensions can be a burden on for their families.

On the other hand, from my view point, this generation can bring more benefits. To begin with, as people age, they can perform better than their youthful counterparts young as they have accumulated more skills, knowledge and experiences. Therefore, they can bring immeasurable value valid values to the companies since they are perfect to train new hires. Further, they have known the most important customers for a long time and can maintain and grow these vital business relationships.. They are also the best candidates for high-level manager positions. (You need to develop your arguments more to get a higher band score. Do not just make statements, explain them.) Furthermore, when there are more old people, there will be more volunteers. (You need to give some examples of older volunteers in the community. You get a much higher score by developing two points well than making four different and disconnected points. .) for the economy. After a long time working, almost all old people have earned enough money that they can be willing to pay comfortably. This can help the economy improve and thrive.

In conclusion, while it is true that old people can cause many problems , I would completely agree that this the older and wiser generation can contribute a lot to business, governments and society in general.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic:

Some people think an aging population can cause big problems. Others, however, think the aging population has many advantages for business, government and for society in general. Discuss both views and give your opinion.


My essay:

(Your text here...)
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