There has been a heated debate about the publication of information in the fields of science, business and academy. While some people are favor of sharing data for the sake of human beings, others believe that they are so confidential that they become unable to be exchanged.

For those who oppose the idea of sharing data, they want to protect the intellectual property rights of the inventors. This school of thought is entirely logical since scientists or experts spend great amount of time doing researches to obtain valuable bits of information. Sharing these data freely, therefore, violates their ownership and demotivates their efforts to make a contribution to the society. Furthermore, some kinds of data can be exploited for malicious purposes. To exemplify, thousands of mobile phone users receive undesirable calls made by advertising companies every day. Another incident is the recent data breach of Facebook which had detrimental effect on 87 million users worldwide. Keeping important information private is thus an optimal solution to save customers.

In contrast, supporters of disclosing information publicly assume that this act greatly benefits human kinds. Exchanging information plays a vital role in countering monopoly in some particular fields. Take HIV treatments as an example, the current price for the medication is extortionately expensive because only few companies have the formula of producing this drug. If this manufacturing secret is popularized, more corporations are able to produce this medicine, resulting in a significant drop in its price. As a consequence, more patients can receive proper treatments and fewer people lose their life. Additionally, sharing important information bridges the wealthy gaps between nations. Some developing countries are encountering financial difficulty to conduct scientific experiments so that they cannot gain precious achievements. However, their citizens are also human and they deserve a chance to develop. Sharing information is synonymous with offering equally favorable conditions for the international development.

In my opinion, the publication of information is absolutely necessary because of its humane values. Not only does it ensure the equal opportunities for the development of nations but it also contributes to making our life much better. For its positive meanings, I think human beings should exchange as much information as possible.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these.. (Please give the complete instructions.)

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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There has been a heated debate (That seems to be an exaggeration. It is better to be as honest and truthful in your essays as possible.) about the publication of information in the fields of science, business and academy. (wrong word) While some people are favor of sharing data for the sake of human beings, (wrong word) others believe that they (?? the other people) are so confidential that they cannot become unable to be exchanged.

For Those who oppose the idea of sharing data , they want to protect the intellectual property rights of the inventors. This school of thought is entirely logical since scientists or experts spend great amount of time doing researches (wrong form) to obtain valuable bits of information. Sharing these data freely, therefore, violates their ownership and demotivates their efforts to make a contribution to the society. Furthermore, some kinds of data can be exploited for malicious purposes. To exemplify, For example, thousands of mobile phone users receive undesirable calls made by advertising companies every day. Another incident is the recent data breach of Facebook which had a detrimental effect on 87 million users worldwide. (I don't think the topic meant to cover disclosing personal information such as names and phone numbers - it mentions business and scientific and academic research only.) Keeping important information private is thus an optimal solution to save customers. (I don't know what you mean.)

In contrast, supporters of disclosing information publicly assume that this act greatly benefits human kinds. (wrong usage) Exchanging information plays a vital role in countering monopoly (wrong form) in some particular fields. Take HIV treatments as an example, the current price for the medication is extortionately expensive because only few companies have the formula of for producing this drug. If this manufacturing secret is shared popularized, more corporations would be are able to produce this medicine, resulting in a significant drop in its price. As a consequence, more patients can receive proper treatments and fewer people lose their life. Additionally, sharing important information bridges the wealthy (wrong word) gaps between nations. Some developing countries are encountering financial difficulty to conduct scientific experiments so that they cannot make significant new discoveries. gain precious achievements. However, their citizens are also human and they deserve a chance to develop. Sharing information is synonymous with offering equally favorable conditions for the international development.

In my opinion, the publication of information is absolutely necessary because of its humane values. Not only does it ensure the equal opportunities for the development of nations but it also contributes to making our life much better. For its positive meanings, (wrong word) I think human beings (wrong usage) should exchange as much information as possible.

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Many thanks.