Opinions differ on females employment in military forces and police departments. Although it is believed that women should not be discriminated against in applying for a job as a soldier or police officer which men dominate, I am of the opinion that they are not perfectly suitable for the jobs in these fields.


On the one hand, advocates of allowing female employees to work in the troops or police stations hold the opinion that both genders should have equal opportunities when it comes to seeking a job. According to these people, because the number of females who achieve high education is on the increase, they have as high qualifications as males to be recruited into the professions which they are good at or interested in. Moreover, employment in any field and trades should base on employees’ experiences, working capacity, and dedication to work rather than their genders. Therefore, females are completely suitable for the jobs as a soldier or police officer.


Despite the argument above, I would be inclined to argue against this as I believe that women, in general, have less physical and mental capacity than men to be recruited in these demanding fields. Obviously, females are considered physically weaker than males, so that they are unlikely to tolerate difficult situations or endure intensive training to be durable enough to participate in strenuous activities. For example, they may be required to carry heavy things such as firearms or backpacks while running around or going through an off-road area, which is extremely exhausting. This may put them in jeopardy and they easily suffer from severe injuries. Not only that, women are believed to be more soft-hearted and mentally unstable than men. For this reason, they are more likely to hesitate when dealing with nerve-racking situations such as confronting drug dealers or smugglers despite being well-trained.


To conclude, in spite of the arguments for and against the recruitment of females into security and defense forces, I still hold my view that women are not suited for the jobs in these areas due to their weakness regarding well-being and psychology.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

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Topic:

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Copy the instructions completely and accurately.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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Opinions differ on females women's employment in military forces and police departments. Although it is believed that women should not be discriminated against in applying for a job as a soldier or police officer in which men dominate, I am of the opinion that they are not perfectly suitable for these jobs in these fields.


This is much more natural and it avoids repetition:

Opinions differ on women being employed in the military forces and police departments. Although it is believed that they should not be discriminated against in applying for the kinds of jobs where men dominate, I am of the opinion that females are not suitable for these occupations.


On the one hand, advocates of allowing female employees women to work as soldiers or police officers in the troops or police stations hold the opinion that both genders men and women should have equal opportunities when it comes to seeking a job. According to these people, because the number of females who have university degrees achieve high education is on the increase, they have as high qualifications as males to be recruited into the professions (In the US, only a high school certificate is required for police or military jobs. The objection to women serving is based on physical capabilities, not academic achievement.) which they are good at or interested in. Moreover, employment in any field and trades should base (wrong verb form) on employees’ experiences, working capacity, and dedication to work rather than their gender. (A person has only one gender.) genders. Therefore, females are completely suitable for the jobs as a soldier or police officer.


Despite the argument above, I would be inclined to argue against this as I believe that women, in general, have less physical and mental (really? You need to read this article: https://www.forbes.com/sites/travisbradberry/2016/06/21/why-women-are-smarter-than-men/?sh=bef869517e6e

) capacity than men to be recruited in these demanding fields. Obviously, females are considered physically weaker than males, so that they are unlikely to tolerate difficult situations or endure intensive training to be durable enough to participate in strenuous activities. For example, they may be required to carry heavy things such as firearms or backpacks while running around or going through an off-road area, which is extremely exhausting. This may put them in jeopardy and they easily suffer from severe injuries. Not only that, women are believed to be more soft-hearted and mentally unstable (Just read the Forbes article. ) than men. For this reason, they are more likely to hesitate when dealing with nerve-racking situations such as confronting drug dealers or smugglers despite being well-trained.

To conclude, in spite of the arguments for and against the recruitment of females into security and defense forces, I still hold my view that women are not suited for the jobs in these areas due to their weakness regarding well-being and psychology.