Hi guys, this is the first time I've used this app . I really want to get some feedback from people here about my essay. Thanks in advance


It is sometimes argued that the most effective method to preserve the environment is to raise the cost of petrol. In my opinion, I totally disagree with this statement and I believe that there are a variety of better ways to tackle them.


First of all, rising price does not work for addressing this trend. In the past, the price had gone up significantly to protect the environment in my country, but in fact, a number of people still drove cars and motorbikes to work and travel every day. In addition, factories all over the world still keep going to produce vehicles not only in the past but also nowadays, so I consider that making petrol more expensive is not the optimal method to avoid environmental problems. Furthermore, there are various factors contributing to damage to the environment such as untreated waste from factories, cut down trees, and litter rubbish inappropriately, so the air is being polluted by the exhaust fumes from transports is only one of these reasons. Therefore, instead of only concentrating on increasing the petrol, some effective methods should be considered to comprehensively protect the environment.


There are several better ways that can be utilized to save the environment. Firstly, people should be encouraged to use electronic transports and bicycles rather than only cars or motorbikes. Secondly, the government should pour more money into green energy sources and make them more affordable and suitable for everyone as opposed to focusing on just fossil fuels. By stimulating people with green energy sources, we can greatly reduce our impact on the environment.


In conclusion, I firmly believe that raising the cost of petrol is not the optimal way to protect the environment, and other measures should be considered more.

Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic:

Some people think the best way to protect the environment is to increase the price of petrol. Do you agree or disagree?


My essay:

(Your text here...)
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It is sometimes argued that the most effective method to preserve the environment is to raise the cost of petrol. In my opinion, ("Disagree" is an opinion, so this phrase is redundant.) I totally disagree with this statement and I believe that there are a variety of better ways to tackle environmental problems. them. (There is no antecedent for "them.")

First of all, rising (wrong word) raising petrol prices does not work for addressing air pollution and global waring. this trend. (You have not mentioned any trend.) In the past, the price had gone up significantly to protect the environment in my country, but in fact, a number of people still drove cars and motorbikes to work and travel every day. In addition, factories all over the world still keep going to producing vehicles not only in the past but also nowadays, ("Still keep producing" is present and future, not past.) so I consider that making petrol more expensive is not the optimal method to avoid environmental problems. Furthermore, there are various other factors contributing to damaging to the environment such as untreated waste from factories, cut (wrong form) down trees, and litter discarding rubbish inappropriately, so the air is being polluted by the exhaust fumes from vehicles transports is only one of these causes. reasons. Therefore, instead of only concentrating on increasing the petrol prices, some effective methods should be considered to comprehensively protect the environment.


There are several better ways that can be utilized to save the environment. Firstly, First, people should be encouraged to use electronic electric cars transports and bicycles rather than only cars or motorbikes. Secondly, Second, the government should pour more money into green energy sources and make them more affordable and suitable for everyone as opposed to focusing on just fossil fuels. By stimulating providing people with green energy options sources, we can greatly reduce our impact on the environment.


In conclusion, I firmly believe that raising the cost of petrol is not the optimal way to protect the environment, and other measures should be considered more.

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thank you for guiding me!

thank you a lot for helping me! But I have some questions, can you explain this to me?

why I use linking words such as Firstly and Secondly are inappropriate?

and why in the sentence "There are several better ways that can be utilized to save the environment" this word "several" is crossed out?

what do you think about my essay, can I get band 6.5 for this essay ?

thank you so much!

Khanhchi1508why are the linking words such as Firstly and Secondly are inappropriate?

Firstly is antiquated and nearly archaic in American English. We do not use it anymore. Secondly means of less importance, not just a second point.

If you want to learn International business English, use "first, second, third" They are good in all dialects of English - British English, American English, and international English.

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Khanhchi1508and why in the sentence "There are several better ways that can be utilized to save the environment" this word "several" is crossed out?

Because it reads much more natural. It is like having two different determiners.