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In our modern society, it is debating whether students should start to learn a foreign language at primary school. Some people believe that it is better than studying at secondary school, others hole the opposite point of view. From my perspective, I side with the first one


On the one hand. studying another language at primary school may lead to some disadvantages. Firstly, it could be an extra burden for children as their curriculum includes many subjects such as math, literature… , which they should spend the priority on. Secondly, children may be confused due to learning many languages at a time and this can slow down the development process of them. For example, they might feel hard to speak their mother tongue with fluency


On the other hand, I believe that this view brings about more positive impacts. It is obvious that children at this period have a great memory and they learn new things very fast. Therefore, they can pick up pronunciation easily and try to mimic it. Next, being expert at a new language at primary school would help them enormously in the long run. By knowing a second language, they can acquire knowledge about lifestyle, the culture of a different country and are able to adapt well when studying abroad. Hence, being able to learn a second language will give competitive advantages for the children.

To sum up, despite certain disadvantages, it seems to me that learning a foreign language as soon as possible bring a vast amount of benefits

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Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. The instructions are not complete. Please give all the instructions for your essay.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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In our modern society, it is debating (Wrong expression) whether students should start to learn a foreign language at primary school.


Here is a much better opening paragraph: There is no debate mentioned in the topic. So do not refer to any "debate" in your first sentence.

In our modern society, learning a foreign language, especially English, is critical for a child's future prospects. And that leads to the question of whether students should start to learn a foreign language in primary school or should they wait until later, in secondary school. I assert that the sooner a child is exposed to a foreign language. the better it will be for them.


Some people believe that it is better than studying at secondary school, others hole (Wrong word) the opposite point of view. From my perspective, I side with the first one

( Missing punctuation. Aso, it is not clear which side you are on. "the first one" makes no sense. You can say "the first group (of people)")

On the one hand. ( wrong punctuation. ) studying another language at primary school may lead to some disadvantages. Firstly, First, it could be an extra burden for children as their curriculum includes many subjects such as math, literature… , (Never use ellipses, "etc." or phrases like "and so on" in formal essays.) which they should spend the priority (Wrong word. We can spend time or money. We cannot spend priorities. ) on. Secondly, Second, children may be confused due to learning many languages at a time and this can slow down the their development process of them. (We almost never use the of-phrase for pronouns. Use the possessive form of the pronoun.) For example, they might feel hard (Wrong expression) to speak their mother tongue with fluency ( Missing punctuation. )


On the other hand, I believe that this view brings about more positive impacts. It is obvious that children at this period have a great memory and they learn new things very fast. Therefore, they can pick up pronunciation easily and try to mimic it. Next, being expert at a new language in at primary school would help them enormously in the long run. By knowing a second language, they can acquire knowledge about the lifestyle and the culture of a different country and are able to adapt well when studying abroad. Hence, being able to learn a second language will give competitive advantages for the children.


To sum up, despite certain disadvantages, it seems to me that learning a foreign language as soon as possible bring (Wrong form) a vast amount of benefits ( Missing punctuation. )