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It is believed that oversea travelers should be taken higher prices rather than local people when they pay a trip to cultural and historical destinations. I partly agree with this point of view.


To begin with, there are some drawbacks to increasing the ticket price for foreign tourists in attractive sites. First of all, it may lead to discrimination and create a misunderstanding between local people and abroad travelers, which is not only reduce the number of tourists coming to that country but also decline in the income of those residents. For example, a restaurant in Hanoi, where the visitors have to pay the high price for each meal resulting in the reduction of customers enjoying the food there. Secondly, that case suddenly makes the country’s image become worse in the international travelers’ memories. As a result, their thought of that country will be negative which leads to the lack of tourists in the foreseeable future.


However, in contrast, the extra fees also benefit both tourists and the host country. It is undeniable that the more money they spend, the better services provide. The owners can derive advantages from that money to invest more in facilities of various attractions. For instance, they can improve the quality of the infrastructure to ensure the safety of these places in perfect conditions, which can offer the tourists better experience and boost their satisfaction as well as excitement during a trip.


To sum up, increasing the price of tourism in cultural and attractive spots has both sides affecting that country. However, it seems to me that raising the extra money in equal ways will be more effective for both tourists and the locals.

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It is believed that oversea travelers should be taken (wrong word) higher prices rather than local people when they pay a trip (wrong expression) to cultural and historical destinations. I partly agree with this point of view.


You have the verbs (take and pay) switched
It is believed that overseas travelers should pay higher prices rather than local people when they take a trip to cultural and historical destinations. I partly agree with this point of view.


It is better not to use the " passive - it." This sentence says the same thing only more elegantly:

I partly agree with the point of view that tourists from other countries ought to pay higher prices than local people when they visit museums and historical places. There are both benefits and drawbacks to such a policy.


To begin with, there are some drawbacks to increasing the ticket price for foreign tourists in attractive (wrong word) sites. First of all, it may lead to discrimination and create a misunderstanding between local people and abroad (wrong word) these travelers, which is would not only reduce the number of tourists coming to that country but also decline in the income generated by them of those residents. For example, a restaurant in Hanoi, where the visitors have to pay the high price for each meal (Off topic. A restaurant is not a historic or cultural attraction. There is no suggestion to raise the prices of food, transportation or hotel rooms.) resulting in the reduction of fewer customers enjoying the food there. Second, it that case suddenly makes the country’s image become worse in the minds of these international travelers’ memories. As a result, their impressions thought of that country will be negative and they will tell their friends to go somewhere else, which leads to the lack of tourists in the foreseeable future.


However, in contrast, the extra fees also benefit both tourists and the host country. It is undeniable that the more money they spend, the better the services will be. provide. The owners operators of the museums or historical places can use derive advantages from that money to invest more in improving the facilities or exhibits. of various attractions. For instance, they can improve the quality of the infrastructure to ensure the safety of these places in perfect conditions, which can offer the tourists a better experience and boost their satisfaction as well as excitement during a trip.


To sum up, increasing the entrance fees of such places has both positive and negative outcomes. price of tourism in cultural and attractive spots has both sides affecting that country. However, it seems to me that raising the extra money in equal ways will be good for more effective for both tourists and the locals.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

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Topic: Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when thay visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view?

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.
molly1413

It is believed that oversea travelers should be taken higher prices rather than local people when they pay a trip to cultural and historical destinations. I partly agree with this point of view.


To begin with, there are some drawbacks to increasing the ticket price for foreign tourists in attractive sites. First of all, it may lead to discrimination and create a misunderstanding between local people and abroad travelers, which is not only reduce the number of tourists coming to that country but also decline in the income of those residents. For example, a restaurant in Hanoi, where the visitors have to pay the high price for each meal resulting in the reduction of customers enjoying the food there. Secondly, that case suddenly makes the country’s image become worse in the international travelers’ memories. As a result, their thought of that country will be negative which leads to the lack of tourists in the foreseeable future.


However, in contrast, the extra fees also benefit both tourists and the host country. It is undeniable that the more money they spend, the better services provide. The owners can derive advantages from that money to invest more in facilities of various attractions. For instance, they can improve the quality of the infrastructure to ensure the safety of these places in perfect conditions, which can offer the tourists better experience and boost their satisfaction as well as excitement during a trip.


To sum up, increasing the price of tourism in cultural and tourist attractions attractive spots has both sides affecting that country. However, it seems to me that raising the extra money in equal ways will be more effective for both tourists and the locals.




All things considered, the core meaning of this essay is understood, but the tone and construction of the sentences are quite stiff and foreign. You tend to use a lot of unnecessary phrases between sentences that I would call filler words (highlighted in red). The pink highlights indicate grammar structural word choice issues.

This is my suggestions for writing this type of essays: Create a title, that sets up a background for your story narration-for example: Proposed Fare Hike On Foreign Tourists.

The recent resounding discussions surrounding the proposed fare hike on tourist attractions have drawn the attention of the locals as well as the officials of the Tourism Bureau. If the proposal is passed, foreign tourists will be required to pay higher fare for all amusement, cultural, and entertainment venues. (from here you can expend your essay to express your view, and the concern of the locals and operators))