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Modern world can be defined as the competitive, hectic, stressful, availability of things with ease and so on, this makes people to be reliant on others in accomplishing any task. However, people have become quite independent as compare to an earlier time in many ways. Therefore, I am going to delve into both views and give my opinion.

To begin with, it is a pipe dream for someone to do any work alone on account of competition, which has made human to be dependent on each other due to manifold reasons. Firstly, no one is conversant in any field or realm, therefore people like to take help of others for getting their work done easily because nowadays everyone yearns for perfection, and this can be possible with an effective collaboration of people. Secondly, people are now under huge work pressure thus they like to distribute their work with others so that work could be done in a short span and effectively. Furthermore, this phenomenon proves to be an efficient for the small startups as well as for the giants. For instance, it has been found in many surveys that people are dependent on each other as a result this brings coordination as well as harmony in the atmosphere of the company.

However, the view that people have become more independent is also true due to several reasons. Firstly, technology has made people to do their work effectively as well as perform multiple tasks by sitting at one place without taking the assistance of anyone, which is again a positive development. Secondly, earlier people have problems in getting answers of their doubts owing to which they used to remain dependent on others, whether they are students or anyone, but now one can easily sort out his/her queries with the advent of various innovations. For instance, many students are doing their studies at home along with work, which made them utterly independent.

In conclusion, I reckon people can never be completely independent, because everyone needs assistance to get success in life in some form or the other.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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The modern world can be defined as the competitive, hectic, stressful, availability of things with ease and so on, (There are three problems in the first sentence. First, do not use ellipses, "etc." or phrases such as "and so on" in academic essays. Second, the sentence is not grammatical. You have a comma splice error. The third problem is that the words "competitive, hectic and stressful" are adjectives. There must be a noun after them. ) this makes people to be reliant on others in accomplishing any task. However, people have become quite independent as compare (wrong form) to an earlier time in many ways. Therefore, I am going to delve into both views and give my opinion.

(That is not a proper thesis statement. Never mention your essay, your writing, or what you are going to tell the reader in an academic essay. It is poor style. Good academic essays have a clearly stated thesis statement. That is the main point of the essay.)

To begin with, it is a pipe dream for someone to do any work alone on account of competition, which has made human (wrong word) to be dependent on each other. due to manifold reasons. Firstly, First, no one is conversant in any field or realm, (wrong usage. That is simply not true. Doctors are conversant in medicine and biologists in biology. To be conversant in a subject means having enough knowledge to talk about it.) Ungrammatical sentence. Comma splice error) therefore people like to take (wrong word - get) the help of others for getting their work done easily because nowadays everyone yearns for perfection, and this can be possible with an effective collaboration between of people. Secondly, Second, people are now under huge tremendous work (Huge is a children's word. Avoid it in formal essays.) pressure at work (ungrammatical sentence, punctuation error, run-on sentence.) thus they like to distribute their work with others so that work could be done effectively in a short time. span and effectively. Furthermore, this teamwork phenomenon (wrong word) proves to be an efficient for the small startups as well as for the giants. For instance, it has been found in many surveys that people are dependent on each other (ungrammatical sentence, punctuation error, run-on sentence.) as a result this brings coordination as well as harmony in the atmosphere of the company.

However, the view that people have become more independent is also true due to several reasons. Firstly, First, technology has made (wrong word - enabled / allowed ) people to do their work effectively as well as perform multiple tasks by sitting at one place without taking the assistance of anyone, which is again a positive development. Secondly, Second, earlier (wrong usage. before the internet and the ease of accessing information.) people have (wrong verb form) problems in getting answers of their doubts (wrong word - questions) owing to which they used to remain dependent on others, whether they are (wrong verb form) students or anyone, but now one can easily sort out (wrong word ) his/her their queries with the advent of various innovations. (wrong usage. Advent is incorrect. - Don't you mean the availability of Google or WIkipedia?) For instance, many students are doing their studies at home along with work, which made (wrong verb form) them utterly independent.

In conclusion, I think that reckon people can never be completely independent, because everyone needs assistance to be successful get success in life in some form or the other.