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It is sometimes argued whether parents must have a responsibility for the way they teach their children to become good people of society. While some people think that is the problem of school. Although the second opinion is supported by many people, from my own people perspective, the other one makes more sense.

First and foremost, a convincing reason for parents should teach children is that family is the best family foundation. Children should be taught by their family when they were young because of it very important to build the behavior of children. For example, when children drink or eat something outside, they know that they need to put the trash and do not throw it away. Another angle can be seen in the fact that because parents always have a responsibility to teach their children. Parents can teach children from their love and they can feel this love. For instance, from parents' love, they can understand why parents want they become good people in society.

On the other hand, people with a contrasting viewpoint argued that responsibility belongs to the school. Firstly, school and family are the difference place for children to be taught. For example, at primary school children will be met many students, and they communicate with people from whole variety. Probably, to those who are against school should teach children, there is some truth in the idea that the experience of communicating with people will make them co-operate with each other and contribute they the way to connect with people of society.

In conclusion, both their parents and school should help children to become active and good people of society.

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Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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It is sometimes argued whether parents must have a responsibility for the way they teach their children to become good people of in their society. While some people think that is the problem of school. (fragment, incomplete sentence) Although the second opinion is supported by many people, from my own people (wrong word) perspective, the other one makes more sense.

First and foremost, a convincing reason for parents should teach children is that the family is the best family (wrong word) foundation. Children should be taught by their family when they are were young because of it it is very important to build the behavior (wrong usage) of children. For example, when children drink or eat something outside, they know that they need to put the trash (wrong usage ) and do not throw it away. Another angle can be seen in the fact that because parents always have a responsibility to teach their children. Parents can teach children from their love and they (Who? The children or the parents?) can feel this love. For instance, from parents' love, they can understand why parents want they become (wrong usage) good people in society.

On the other hand, people with a contrasting viewpoint argued that responsibility belongs to the school. Firstly, FIrst, school and family are the difference place (wrong usage) for children to be taught. For example, at primary school children will be met (wrong verb form) many students, and they communicate with people from whole variety. (wrong usage) Probably, to those who are against the theory / idea that school should teach children, there is some truth in the idea that the experience of communicating with people will make them co-operate with each other and contribute they the way to connect with people of society.

In conclusion, both their parents and school should help children to become active and good people of society.

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Comments  

With the development of human being, it’s education that passes knowledge through generations by generations, especially among children, drives the advancing for society.

Recently, a horrible new telling a 14-year-old boy, raping and killing a girl of same age, throwing the body into green belt and running away, has been arousing a heated debate on education for children on social platforms, with hundreds of thousands of comments following. Some of people think that schools should be blame on, while others point out that the parents should take responsibility for it.

As far as I am concerned, the parents should take full advantage of their unique long standing relationship with their children to help them become a good member of society with required virtues. Comparing with parents, schools, sharing a short standing relationship with their students, focus on teaching book learning, resulting the distortion function of making a future qualified citizens. In the past several years, due to the fact of limited energy and worry about being accused by children’s parents, teachers are advised to choose teaching examnation-passsing related knowledge rather than virtues so as to avoid unreasonable blames. In my opinion, it is hard to judge whether these teachers’ choices are supposed to be criticized, and, in view of this phenomenon, it should always be right that the adolescents’ parents initiatively take somewhat means, like some extent of physical punishments, to help their children to form a right sense of virtues and to gradually be a good person in a society.

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anonymousWith the development of human being, it’s education that passes knowledge through generations by generations, especially among children, drives the advancing for society.

Anonymous:

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