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Some people insist that physical activities should be a compulsory subject in the school curriculum while others claim that academic studies are more crucial for students and they just ought to spend their time studying. From my perspective, I am of the first standpoint and I will illustrate my reasons in this essay.
This can be attributed to a host of factors. First and foremost, someone said: "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." If students spend a long day drowning in homework and tests, it can easily lead to depression and an unexpected result, even suicide. Thus, physical activities help pupils have a healthy and sound mind. For instance, 15-minute jogging around the playground or playing basketball together can relieve their stress effectively.
Secondly, doing exercises make students more active. Spending hours sitting in the classroom may get both teachers and students tired and sleepy. As a result, the quality of lessons can dramatically be reduced because pupils can not absorb the knowledge anymore after cramming for a long time. Thus, some physical movement will wake them up and give them momentum and energy to study in the next lessons. For example, students should study at a fixed time, such as 30-45 minutes, and take a 15-minute break to warm up the body by some physical movements.
To conclude, I strongly believe that the combination of academic studies and physical activities will give the pupils both mental and physical development.

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Some people insist that physical activities should be a compulsory subject in the school curriculum while others claim that academic studies are more crucial for students and they just ought to spend their time studying. From my perspective, I am of concur / agree with the first standpoint. and I will illustrate my reasons in this essay.

Do not mention your essay or your writing or what you are going to say in any academic essay. The thesis statement (Your answer) is sufficient. The reader knows what an essay is, so they expect you to present points supporting your thesis in the body paragraphs. Telling them is completely unnecessary. In some schools, you will lose points.


This (It is unclear what you mean by "this".) The benefits of exercise periods combined with academic study during the school day can be attributed to a host of factors. First and foremost, someone said: there is a saying: "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." If students spend a long day drowning in homework (improper word, Homework is done at home, not in school.) and tests, it can easily lead to depression and an unexpected result, even suicide. Thus, physical activities help pupils have a healthy and sound mind. For instance, 15-minutes of jogging around the playground or playing basketball together can relieve their stress effectively.


Secondly, Second, doing exercises make students more active. Spending hours sitting in the classroom may get both teachers and students tired and sleepy. As a result, the quality of lessons can dramatically be reduced because they lose focus, stop paying attention and have difficulty concentrating. pupils can not absorb the knowledge anymore after cramming for a long time. Thus, some physical movement will wake them up and give them momentum and energy to resume their study in the next lessons. For example, students should study for at a fixed time, such as 30-45 minutes, and take a 15-minute break to warm up the body with by some physical movements.


To conclude, I strongly believe that the combination of academic studies and physical activities will give the pupils both mental and physical development.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Some people said that physical exercises should be a required part of every school day. Others say that pupils should spend the whole school day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Give reasons to support your choice Copy the complete instructions correctly here. Task completion is 25% of the essay's score. We cannot evaluate "task completion" without all the instructions.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.

thank u so much