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It is believed that assiduity and tenacity can help people succeed in life whilst some argue that financial condition and appearance are more significant. In my view, all these elements affect one’s success, and the dominant one is diligence, but which is more necessary depends on one’s selection and the meaning of success to them.

Granted, one might assert that hard work will be paid off. This is because by being consistent, people are always willing to deal with hardships and are not frightened of being failed until they achieve their aims. Take, for example, Thomas Edison, the greatest physicist ever, who tried a thousand times to invent filaments that changed humanity’s lives. Otherwise, consistency plays a key factor to create miracles because one is likely to struggle with failures, yet they have courage to overcome those and gain more experiences. Hence, hard work and determination are associated with one another to build success.

However, many contend that a person was born in a fortunate circumstance or has an attractive appearance that has already been the victor. Moreover, they think diligence and persistence are minors, which cannot allow a wealthy person to become more successful. To me, money and appearance can help people have more opportunities and be easier to promote but achieving success is not except persistence. Considering the model who dreams of being a well-trained model, so height and eye-catching face are not enough, he must endeavor to practice his skills on the stage. Therefore, the importance of money and appearance are undeniable, but a permanent success cannot be built without consistency and determination.

In conclusion, which factors are more crucial in one’s success relates to their definition of success, People should rely on their situation to recognize the influence of such factors on them.

Comments  

Hi,

You need to simplify your phrasing. Much of your text as it stands is unnatural. That only frustrates the examiner and gets you poor marks. Focus on presenting clever ideas and examples instead.

For example, here's your introduction, after heavy editing!

It is believed by some that assiduity and tenacity can help people succeed in life because of their hard work and perseverance, whilst some while others argue that financial condition status and appearance are more important factors. significant. In my view, I think all these elements, especially diligence, affect one’s chances of success, and the dominant one is diligence, but which is more necessary depends on one’s selection circumstances and the meaning definition of success. to them.

Revise your text and repost it below.