These days, The question of whether people should choose one organisation to work for or get involved in various companies has been receiving the public’s attention. Although these choices have both advantages and disadvantages, personally I strongly believe that working for various businesses would bring people more merits.

It is obvious to say that there are some reasons why people stay with the same businesses their whole life. First, since these people are familiar with their colleagues, managers and the processes of operating the company, they can understand the culture of the place they are working, which might help them do their job probably more effectively and efficiently. Moreover, by working for one company, employees may be offered handsome salary, bonuses and incentives, as well as stand higher chances of climbing their career ladder.

However, there would be certain benefits for changes in a person's work. First of all, due to the fact that these people are brave enough to find themselves new employment opportunities, they could overcome all the obstacles in their new occupation. They believe that when working for a variety of enterprises, there will be more chances for them to experience that they could collaborate with many kinds of co-workers and leaders, etc. This means they are able to expand their networks. Second, since some of the organisations do not bring any advantages for staffs, such as low salaries, no professional skills training course, people might feel that the current job might be no longer suitable for them. Eventually, it would be an ideal way for them to start a new journey.

In conclusion, even though there are different perspectives on the idea that should we stay with the same companies all our working life or work for a wide range of organisations, in my opinion, I choose to try various jobs in various businesses. good<3

Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: SOME PEOPLE WORK FOR THE SAME ORGANISATION ALL THEIR WORKING LIFE. OTHERS THINK THAT IT IS BETTER TO WORK FOR DIFFERENT ORGANISATION (This is incomplete. Please copy all the instructions.)

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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These days, The (wrong punctuation) question of whether people should choose one organisation to work for or get involved in various companies has been receiving the public’s attention. (Is that in the instructions? If it isn't, don't mention "public attention.") Although these choices have both advantages and disadvantages, personally I strongly believe that working for various businesses would bring people more merits. (wrong expression. ... would be more beneficial for most people. )

It is obvious to say that there are some reasons why people stay with the same businesses their whole life. First, since these people are familiar with their colleagues, managers and the processes of operating the company, they can understand the culture of the place they are working, which might helps them do their job probably more effectively and efficiently. Moreover, by working for one company, employees may be offered a handsome salary, bonuses and incentives, as well as stand higher chances of climbing their career ladder.


Your essay would be better if you give an example from personal experience, rather than generalities that may or may not be true.. For example:

1. My father worked for the national railroad all his life, and was able to not only support me and my six brothers and sisters, but also to retire with a nice pension. He advised us to have a career in a great company.

2. My uncle graduated from university with a degree in engineering. He has worked for five different companies and enjoyed an overseas assignment in Saudi Arabia. He has so many stories to tell about all the different interesting projects he worked on, and he has friends all over the world.


However, there would be certain benefits for changes in a person's work. First of all, due to the fact that these people are brave enough to find themselves new employment opportunities, they could overcome all the obstacles in their new occupation. They believe (Did the instructions ask for your opinion? Why give others' opinion, then?) that when working for a variety of enterprises, there will be more chances for them to experience that they could collaborate with many kinds of co-workers and leaders, etc. (Never use ellipses, "etc."or phrases like "and so on" in formal essays.) This means they are able to expand their networks. Second, since some of the organisations do not bring any advantages (not a good expression. - do not have good employee benefits) for staffs, (wrong form) such as low salaries, no professional skills training course, (ungrammatical series) people might feel that the current job might be no longer suitable for them. Eventually, it would be an ideal way for them to start a new journey.

In conclusion, even though there are different perspectives on the idea that should we stay with the same companies all our working life or work for a wide range of organisations, in my opinion, I choose to try various jobs in various businesses<3