the following piece is something that i found quite interesting and would to share it with those who are concern about the proficiency of English language:

> > We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
> > but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
> > One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
> > yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
> >
> >
> > You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
> > yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
> > If the plural of man is always called men,
> > why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
> >
> >
> > If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
> > and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
> > If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
> > why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
> >
> >
> > Then one may be that, and three would be those,
> > yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
> > and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
> >
> >
> > We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
> > but though we say mother we never say methren.
> > Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
> > but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
> >
> >
> > Some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English;
> > 1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
> > 2) The farm was used to produce produce.
> > 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
> > 4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
> > 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
> > 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
> > 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
> > time to present the present.
> > 8) At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass
> > drum.
> > 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
> > 10) I did not object to the object.
> > 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
> > 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
> > 13) They were too close to the door to close it.
> > 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
> > 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
> > 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
> > 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
> > 18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
> > 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
> > 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
> > 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
> > 22) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.
> >
> >
> > Screwy pronunciations can mess up your mind! For example...
> > If you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going
> > through the bough on a tree!
> >
> >
> > Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
> >
> >
> > There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple
> > nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in
> > England.
> >
> >
> > We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we
> > find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and
> > a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is
> > it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce
> > and hammers don't ham?
> >
> >
> > Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
> >
> >
> > If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one
> > of them, What do you call it?
> >
> >
> > If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
> >
> >
> > If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
> >
> >
> > Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
> > should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
> >
> >
> > In what language do people recite at a play and play at a
> > recital?
> >
> >
> > Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
> > Have noses that run and feet that smell?
> > How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise
> > man and a wiseguy are opposites?
> >
> >
> > You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which
> > your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a
> > form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going
> > on.
1 2
Nice post mp,

So so so true.. added it to the main page Students: Commonly faced problems.

English is such a jumble because many of its words are derived from other Indo-European languages.

The Romans, French, and Germanic tribes all influenced the language in their own way. This is why there are such pecularities as pork and pig, beef and cow, mutton and sheep, venison and deer. In the feudal system, the native Celtic tribes were farmers, and would deal with the animals, not the meat, so they had their own words for them (cow, pig, sheep and deer); the ruling lords, from different cultures, would only deal with the meat, so their words for meat came into common usage (beef, pork, mutton and venison.)
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Emotion: big smile Emotion: big smile

Thanks a lot for this post. It´s really hilarious...


Excellent post! It brought a big smile to my face!
Emotion: smile Well I've read quite a lot into the origins of the English language, most of it was quite "dry" and without any humour, great!
The English language started life as a German dialect called "Plattdeutsch" or Friesisch. This language was spoken mainly by the Saxons, it is still spoken in Northern Germany, as well as Holland, & parts of Belgium. There then came Danish into the language, North East England, Newcastle ans so on, then came the Romans, they brought apart from Latin some Greek as well. After they had gone home came the Normans, they were French speakers, descendants of those Viking invaders who plagued the whole north European coast.
After this episode came the mixture to its present day form with a little help from Holland, India, China, etc.. Where ever the Brit has set his foot he has taken some of the language back home with him.
Basicly is the English language is a Germanic language with various additions, basta!

Being a German it wonders me that nobody has read the original Shakespeare books, here you will find out about the various methods of spelling one word, this was due to the fact that the written word was not as we would say "genormt" . Window comes from the German Windauge, the au in English is spoken as in Platt as ow, . We could go on for ages.

Have fun reading, I did!

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i got this chain long time ago..
always liked it n found it true ..

thanx for sharin pal ..
Excellent poost, I found it very usefull for my english.

Thanks alot,

yeah, indeed it is really interesting.

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