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Could somebody check if these sentences sound OK as English?
・When you are young, you don't think that the most important thing in your life is what will bring you the most benefit, but that in your life your dreams and ideals are also important. Friends you make during that time are precious.
Comments  
When you are young, you don't think that the most important thing in your life is what will bring you the most benefit, but that in your life your dreams and ideals are also important.

This seems grammatically correct to me, but it doesn't seem to entirely make sense. You're essentially saying "A isn't the most important thing, but B is also important". The contrast expected from "but" doesn't materialise. Do you mean that the most important things are dreams and ideals rather than the things that bring the most benefit? Or do you mean that the most important things are not those that bring the most benefit, and, by the way (as a new thought), dreams and ideals are important? Whatever the intended meaning, I think that the sentence could be made slightly less convoluted and slightly more elegant.

Friends you make during that time are precious.

I personally prefer "Friends that you make...", but "that" is optional and this sentence is fine.
Yes, it sounds OK, but a little long and wordy. I might change 'also' to 'more', and I would begin the second sentence with 'the'.
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Old Man GordonYes, it sounds OK, but a little long and wordy.  I might change 'also' to 'more', and I would begin the second sentence with 'the'.
Thank you, Mr. Gordon.
How would you make it simple? 
When you are young, dreams and ideals are more important to you than benefit and profit.

How's that?
That's very simple!
Thanks, Gordon! 
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Hi Taka,

I think you got some excellent comments.

Clive