Hello. I work for a Korean company which specializes in planning large scale conventions. For one of our projects, we are currently in the process of sending out invitations for speakers. Unfortunately many of our employees do not have a very solid grasp of written English. At times I am charged with proofreading some of their work, but one problem is that some of them do not trust my English ability.

Here is one of the letters in question:

Dear Sir/Madam,

It is great pleasure for us to inform you that the [convention name] will be held in [city, country] from June 15 - 18, 2010.

The program committee of [medical society] recommended you as one of the top-class experts who can give an insight into the most recent knowledge in your field.

So, we would like to invite you to our congress as the chairs/co-chairs/guest speakers in each session and kindly request your acceptance.

Please find the attached invitation letter and let us know your response in writing until [date].

Here is my revision:

Dear Sir/Madam,

It gives us great pleasure to inform you that we have been chosen to organise the [convention name] which will be held in [city, country] from June 15th to 18th, 2010.

The program committe of [medical society] has acknowledged you as a world class expert capable of providing deep insight into the latest developments in your field.

Thus we would like to cordially invite you to serve as a [chair/co-chair/guest speaker] during one of the sessions of our conference.

We have attached a formal invitation letter to this email. Please notify us of your response in writing by [date]. We would be deeply honored to have you.

Thank you in advance for any comments, ideas or suggestions you can offer for either the original letter, my revisions or both.
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Comments  (Page 2) 
thanks for the letter. it help me a lot..
thaks a lot for letters.it help me a lot
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
thank you Emotion: embarrassed