Hello, I am a sophomore attending a California high school and I am wanting to write better essays! The following essay is my response to William Shakespeare's poem "Spring ." Any advice on improving it is welcome! Thanks!

It begins with images of colored flowers and meadows: images of spring. Then from these peaceful words emerges a conflict. Many tunes can be heard in the call of the cuckoo, but only the worst can be understood by the married men.

With the onset of spring, a hiccup of life is experienced, and in this livelihood a beast awaits uncertain men. The men are awakened and suddenly tempted by the breath of living things anew and the frolic of the bachelor. The whisper of unfaithfulness is in the air and married men shudder with apprehension. It would seem to the married men that the cuckoo must sing to mock them.

If the cuckoo sings to attract a mate of its own, the married men must bear jealousy. Every other creature is looking for a mate, yet the married men are bound by their wedding vows. In the chaos of everything, they realize how an infallible plan is a foolish idea. They loose their confidence and the cuckoo is no longer singing a song of love.

The plain and repetitive voice of the cuckoo in the ears of the married men carries forth thoughts filled with the monotonous song of marriage. Such thoughts aren't welcome in the life of spring. The unfortunate men become curious of higher ground in this storm of thought. With the intention of avoiding drowning in such unpleasantness, a terror is on the mind. To the married man, the fear of betraying a wife is overwhelming, for he probably does love his own wife. Cuckoo, “O word of fear,” in Shakespeare's own.

“When daisies pied and violets blue . . .” The poem begins by giving the reader words of life. These words bring the reader into a place foreshadowing the possibilities of spring. The possibilities are naturally infinite, but the elegance of the situation is brought to the reader's attention at the introduction of the married man mocked by the cuckoo. William Shakespeare granted the paradox of this bird eternal understanding in his poem “Spring.”
Hi Shadowpool,

I've hightlighted your glaring errors.

(I have never read Love's Labour's Lost, so I can't comment on this poem in the context of the play. Perhaps someone else can help you with that.)

It (what is it?) begins with images of colored flowers and meadows: images of spring. Then from these peaceful words emerges a conflict. Many tunes can be heard in the call of the cuckoo, but only the worst can be understood by the married men.

With the onset of spring, a hiccup of life is experienced, and in this livelihood a beast awaits uncertain men. The men are awakened and suddenly tempted by the breath of living things anew and the frolic of the bachelor. The whisper of unfaithfulness is in the air and married men shudder with apprehension. It would seem to the married men that the cuckoo must sing to mock them.

If the cuckoo sings to attract a mate of its own, the married men must bear (wording) jealousy. Every other creature is looking for a mate, yet the married men are bound by their wedding vows. In the chaos of everything, they realize how an infallible plan (what do you mean?) is a foolish idea. They loose (sp.) their confidence (in what?) and the cuckoo is no longer singing a song of love.

The plain and repetitive voice of the cuckoo in the ears of the married men carries forth thoughts filled with the monotonous song of marriage (contradicted by what is said earlier). Such thoughts aren't welcome in the life of spring. The unfortunate men become curious of higher ground (meaning?) in this storm of thought. With the intention of avoiding drowning in such unpleasantness, a terror is on the mind. To the married man, the fear of betraying a wife is overwhelming (really? I think he's worrying about himself being the cuckold), for he probably does love his own wife. Cuckoo, “O word of fear,” in Shakespeare's own. (The highlighted words are a bit of an overkill)

“When daisies pied and violets blue . . .” The poem begins by giving the reader words of life. These words bring the reader to a place foreshadowing the possibilities of spring. The possibilities are naturally infinite, but the elegance of the situation is brought to the reader's attention at the introduction of the married man mocked by the cuckoo. William Shakespeare granted (wording) the paradox of this bird eternal understanding in his poem “Spring.”
I'm afraid you are taking the married men's fear the wrong way.

A cuckoo or 'cuckold' was a man whose wife was unfaithful to him. He is not being unfaithful to her.

Think about it; a cuckoo lays its eggs in another birds nest, it is an intruder getting another pair of birds to raise its own chicks. Can you see the connection with the idea of wifely infidelity?
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Thank you for helping me! After realizing how incorrect my essay was, I rewrote it. Is this version any better? Emotion: smile I'm a little unsure of the quotes, colon, and semicolon usage. If anyone has any more advice on how I might improve my essay writing I'll give you hug! Emotion: wink

“Cuckoo, cuckoo!' O word of fear. . .” The song of the cuckoo is man's nightmare brought into the context of real life. It is a song of betrayal, a song of irony, and of lost hope to be heard in the otherwise perfect sound that is “Spring” by William Shakespeare.

With the onset of spring, a hiccup of life is to be experienced, and in this livelihood a darkness awaits the married men. Echoing through the images of colored flowers and peaceful meadows, whispers of unfaithfulness bring dread to the men who suffer uncertainty. “Cuckoo, cuckoo!” It's the song of a woman who makes a fool of a man. A man who unknowingly provides for his wife's illegitimate offspring. A dream of the darkest type to those unlucky men with doubts: betrayal in the highest.

The lady cuckoo, free to roam as her eggs lay in another nest, voices her tone with relish. Her sound is pleasing to those unknowing men; a shrill cry to men who have been broken or cursed with uncertainty. When the cuckoo speaks, only the man who doesn't know is own wife is startled; however, it is the surest men who cry the hardest when their wives break their vows.

To the broken man, betrayed by his wife but afraid of divorce, the utterance of the cuckoo is a solemn one. To him it is a reminder of the fierce nature of things. The female bird calls out to him as if it were too dominating him and mocking his situation. She brings no console or hope, only his embarrassment and uncertainty. A husband of an unfaithful wife hears no love in the words of the cuckoo.

“When daisies pied and violets blue . . .” “Spring” begins with words of life. These words send the reader to a place foreshadowing the possibilities of spring. The possibilities are naturally infinite, but the elegance of the situation is brought to attention at the introduction of the married man mocked by the cuckoo. William Shakespeare gave the foreboding tune of this bird eternal understanding in his poem “Spring.”
Very nicely written. Only a couple of comments - she brings no consolation or hope. Also make it clear that when you speak of divorce you are speaking in general terms about modern society, and not that the men in the poem may be afraid of divorce; it was not really available to anyone in England then.
Hi Shadowpool,

Here is some info. on the poem in the context of the play.

http://www.engl.uvic.ca/Faculty/MBHomePage/ISShakespeare/LLLCourse/LLLcom4.html#toc3
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shadowpool,
Do you know anything about the other poem written by shakespeare? It is "Winter's Song" in "Love's Labour's Lost". Help if you may?
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