Dear someone who would like to help,

I am looking for someone who can give advice on my writing. Please also rate my writing and give me your comment. the topic and my writing is as follows:

We live today in an electronic information age. It is easier to be connected by technology yet many people seem no closer to feeling happy in their lives. Discuss.

Write at least 250 words.

My writing:

The invention of internet and the advancement of telecommunication devices have greatly affected people of today. In one side, these technologies have helped people in many ways yet it also created disadvantages. But the most important, there will always be an opportunity remains between the positive and the negative of it.

Information age has created tremendous change to human life. The technology like internet and hand phone has enable people to do new things, for example socializing with distant relatives and friends – which also make communication cheaper, facilitate people in their works, assist student to have more study resources, help people to know recent news, create new employment, etc. In short, today’s people are well connected in comparison to the previous era (20-30 years ago).

However, if reflects to some studies or surveys, in this era people are more prone to stress. Criminal rate is increasing, people easily get stressful in workplace, and we also learned that divorce case is increasing. Critics also addressed to social media like Facebook or Twitter, judged by people that it only make people addicted with internet and forget the ‘real’ communication with surroundings. Parents are worrisome that their kids will neglect socialization with others because of internet.

In some point, information age makes people happier and gets things easier but it does not mean that all people are happy. There is no agreement that information age and technology create a better and happy live.

But to my subjective opinion information age and technology does create opportunity. It then back to people to choose their choice on what benefit them and what not.

Your writing is good enough. Your thoughts are well structured. Also, you have a clear point and you only include the information that is absolutely necessary. Your writing is free from grammar and punctuation errors. Keep it up!

Thank you.

Thank you for giving me your comment. I just curious whether I can give my opinion in an IELTS writing test.

Is it OK or appropriate?
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When writing a Task 2 essay (Academic and General) you can add your own opinions. It's actually difficult to get a good grade if you do not add your opinions. The Task 1 report in the Academic IELTS exam must not have your opinions - everything you write must be obtained from the chartsThe Task 1 letter in the General IELTS exam needs you to create a story so all of this comes from your imagination.Free writing material plus support from an experienced IELTS teacher/examiner is given on http://www.ieltsedits.comor contact - Email Removed
u provided ur opinion in the end what was not asked to do.
Nayeem from Bangladesh