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Please help me to check my essay!

The chart compares the proportion of people aged 18 to 20 in an urban who engaging in five activitíe by gender during a month in 2015.

It is noticeable that while most men preferred football, basketball, and hockey, other sports namely cycling and swimming are favored by women
There was only 12% of females took part in basketball, while the figure for men increased almost threefold, to around 33%. Regarding football, the proportion of men playing this sport made up just over half, which was far higher than all remaining sectors. Besides, whereas hockey attracted over 10% of males, only 4% of females played this sport.

Turning to the remaining activities, cycling and swimming were preferred by females to males. Two-fifths of women took part in cycling, compared to around 37% of men. In terms of swimming, the proportion of females joining this activity almost doubled that of males, at approximately 35% and 20% respectively.

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Sorry, I updated a picture of this task.

The chart compares the proportions of people males and females aged 18 to 20 in [ 1] an urban some city who engaging engaged in one of five activitíe sports by gender during in a month in 2015.

It is noticeable that while most men preferred football, basketball, and hockey, the other sports namely cycling and swimming are were favored by women.

[ 2] There was Only 12% of females took part in basketball, while the figure for men [ 3] increased was almost threefold that, to around 33%. Regarding football, the proportion of men playing this sport made up just over half, which was far higher than all remaining sports categories. sectors. Besides, whereas hockey attracted over 10% of males, only 4% of females played this sport.

Turning to the remaining activities, cycling and swimming were preferred by more females to than males. Two-fifths of women took part in cycling, compared to around 37% of men. In terms of swimming, the proportion of females joining who took part in this activity was almost doubled double that of males, at approximately 35% and 20% respectively.

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[ 1]: “urban” is an adjective.

[ 2]: Do not use “there is” if you can write the sentence without it.

[ 3]: We do not have previous figures to compare to.

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