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Please take a look at my writing and give me some advice. I'll really appreciate

The two pie charts given compare the amount of five major energy supplies used in the US in 1980 and 1990.

Overall, the figure for oil was generally higher than that for the remaining resources surveyed. Another feature is that there was a little change in the percentage of the other powers used in both years.

Between 1980 and 1990, the US’s energies came from oil registered a fall, 42% for the former and 33 % for the latter. A similar trend was seen in natural gas, there was a drop of 1 % to a quarter in 1990. However, the figure for hydroelectric power remained stable in both years, with 5%.

The amount of nuclear power in1990 was double that in 1990, 10% and 5% respectively. There was a significant increase in the proportion of coal used, from the figure of 22% in 1980, it then overtook natural gas in 1990, with 27%.



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Your essay is just barely over the 150-word minimum. Consider writing longer essays to avoid the possibility that they will fall under the minimum.

Also, please include the instructions. We need them to assess your "Task completion" score. Are these the instructions?


The two graphs show the main sources of energy in the USA in 1980 and 1990. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the changes which occurred. » Write at least 150 words.


The two pie charts given compare the amount of five major energy supplies Poor English. It does not describe the charts naturally.) used in the US in 1980 and 1990.


Model paragraph:

The pie charts compare the relative proportions of fuels or other means used to generate energy in the US in two different years, ten years apart, 1980 and 1990. Each chart shows five different energy sources: Oil, Natural gas, Coal, Hydroelectric and Nuclear.


Overall, the figure (Incorrect usage. Avoid the word "figure" in Task 1. A figure in this context is a diagram inserted in with the text. ) for oil was generally higher than that for the remaining resources surveyed. (The topic does not mention a survey. Data from a survey would be based on a questionnaire, and that is not the case here.) Another feature is that there was a little change in the percentage of the other powers (wrong word) used in both years.


Model overview paragraph. Include three significant observations.

Overall, oil and gas were the main sources of energy: contributing 68% in 1980 and 58% in 1990. The 10% difference was due to a decrease in the reliance on oil. The largest gain, on a percentage basis, was from nuclear power which doubled from 5 to 10 percent.


Between 1980 and 1990, the US’s energies came from oil registered a fall, (ungrammatical English) 42% for the former and 33 % for the latter. (Use this when there are two categories, e.g. coal and oil.) A similar trend was seen in natural gas, there was a drop of 1 % to a quarter in 1990. However, the figure for hydroelectric power remained stable (constant) in both years, with 5%.

The amount of nuclear power in1990 was double that in 1990, (If you compare 1990 to 1990, the numbers would be exactly the same.) 10% and 5% respectively. There was a significant increase in the proportion of coal used, from the figure of 22% in 1980, (comma splice error) it then overtook natural gas in 1990, with 27%.

Comments  

Perfume, it's your 12th post in the forums, yet had still opened your thread in the wrong forum (Sentence Structure).


Whenever you post, please ascertain that you're in the right forum.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Thread Moved.

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I'm sorry for my inconvenient. Can you tell me where I can post my writing for help? I thought this forum is right until today, after your comment. Sorry

Please help me with my writing task 1. I really need your assistance. I'm not sure whether my grammar is right or not. Hopefully, you can read it and let me know some errors. Thank you so much

Please post all essays in the essay forum. Here is a link to the essay forum.


https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm


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 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.

Thank you so much for your powerful advice. I will rewrite that. Hopefully can you check again for me?

in model paragraph

The pie charts compare the relative proportions of fuels or other means used to generate energy in the US in two different years, ten years apart, 1980 and 1990. Each chart shows five different energy sources: Oil, Natural gas, Coal, Hydroelectric and Nuclear.

other means = other sources or remaining sources. is that right?

Can I use " other means " for other goods, which used to make something?

Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
perfume56other means = other sources or remaining sources. is that right?

Not exactly. it is other ways, methods or processes