The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012.

The line graph compares two different rural and urban regions of Australia in terms of the unemployment rate over a 4-quarter period in the year 2012.

Overall, despite various ups and downs, a downward trend was observed for the joblessness in the countryside. However, it was not the case for the unemployment level in cities. Additionally, the proportion of unemployed Australians living in the suburban regions was slightly higher than that in cities over the survey.

At the initial quarter of the year, a total of about 10% of people are jobless in Australia, over three-fifth being lived in rural areas, a quarter in the urban regions. In the subsequent three months, the figure for jobless people in the country fell significantly a further 2% to its bottom level at below 5%, prior to experiencing a mild recovery to 5.5% at the beginning of the third quarter, followed by some mild variations and a static phase at 5% in the last month of the year.

In contrast, in the second quarter, the latter had a great increase of 2% despite also dipping to its initial level in the third quarter. After continuing going up and down, the rate of the unemployed in cities increased rapidly and reached its peak at roughly 5%, almost the same as rurales' figure.

Please check my writing. Thank you so much

You have posted a lot of essays, and I have given a lot of time and effort in feedback.

But have you read my advice?
You have not replied with any questions or thanks. Do you look at my feedback? Did you learn anything? Do you know why the New Zealand population task is bad?

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I sincerely apologize to you.I read your advice and it really helped me a lot. To be honest, I really don't know the reason why this task is bad. Can you give me some reasons and advice. I'm looking forward to your answer. Thank you so much
train bee 452I really don't know the reason why this task is bad.

There is nothing wrong with the task above in this thread. I was referring to another one you posted with the topic "New Zealand population", a line graph with percentages by age group. Here is a link to the thread:

https://www.englishforums.com/English/IeltsWritingTask1/bpmgpm/post.htm

Have you figured out the many problems with it? There are three of them.

The line graph compares two different rural and urban regions (That is incorrect. Two rural regions would be Kiwirrkurra Community and Alice Springs. Two urban regions would be Sydney and Melbourne.) of Australia in terms of the unemployment rate over a 4-quarter period (Incorrect - every year has 4 quarters. You need an adverb of time intervals. These are: hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, semi-annually and annually.) in the year 2012.


The line graph plots the quarterly unemployment rate in the rural regions versus the urban regions of Australia in 2012.


Overall, despite various ups and downs, a downward trend was observed for the rural unemployment rate. joblessness in the countryside. (That is not the statistic.)However, it was not the case for the unemployment level in cities. Additionally, the proportion of unemployed Australians living in the suburban (There are no suburban regions plotted. There are only two curves.) regions was slightly higher than that in cities over the survey. (There is no survey mentioned. There is no questionnaire with questions mentioned. Do not invent things that are not directly shown in the figure or the instructions.)

At the initial quarter of the year, a total of about 10% of people (That is completely wrong. You cannot add these numbers together because the "whole" or 100% is different for each one. The total jobless rate would be a weighted average of 2.1 and 6.5%. The weights would be the relative populations in each area. For example, if 80% of the people live in cities, and 20% live in the countryside, then the overall unemployment rate would be about 3% ) are jobless in Australia, over three-fifth being lived (wrong verb form) in rural areas, a quarter in the urban regions. (Completely wrong.) In the subsequent three months, the figure for jobless people in the country (Figure is wrong. Also, you do not have the values for the unemployment rate in the country, only in the rural and urban areas.) fell significantly a further 2% to its bottom lowest level at below 5%, prior to experiencing (wrong word. Values, numbers, percentages and other inanimate things do not experience anything. They are not alive.) a mild recovery to 5.5% at the beginning of the third quarter, followed by some mild variations and a static phase at 5% in the last month of the year.

(Write one paragraph for the details, not two.)

In contrast, in the second quarter, the latter (Latter must be clear It is not.) had a great increase of 2% despite also dipping to its initial level in the third quarter. After continuing going up and down, the rate of the unemployed in (wrong expression. The "unemployment rate" is the statistic being plotted. Do NOT use other words for defined statistical measures.) cities increased rapidly and reached its peak at roughly 5%, almost the same as rurales' figure. (wrong form, wrong word.)


You wrote 220 words. The minimum is 150. Aim to write 170-190. If you write a longer essay, you have more chances to make mistakes, and each mistake costs you points.

Task 1 is supposed to be written for a university math, science or engineering lecturer.

These numbers can see, witness, and experience things. But is this appropriate for professors at a university or for first-graders?

Economic statistic measures are precisely defined. Here is the Australian definition.

The Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) defines a person who is unemployed as one who, during a specified reference period, is not employed for one hour or more, is actively seeking work, and is currently available for work. The unemployment rate is the percentage of the labour force that is measured as unemployed. The labour force is a measure of the economically active population, i.e. employed people plus unemployed people.

Do not invent your own synonyms for these precisely-defined measures.

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Sample essay;

The line graph plots the quarterly unemployment rate in the rural regions versus the urban regions of Australia in 2012.

Overall the rural areas had a higher value throughout the year, but the large gap at the beginning of the year had closed by the end of the year.

In detail, at the start of 2012, the unemployment rate in rural areas was about three times higher than in the cities, 6.5% versus 2.2%. This gap of 4.3 percentage points closed to 1% in the second quarter, as the rate fell in the rural areas and rose in the urban areas. There was a peak in the urban rate at 4% early in the second quarter. In the rural areas, the lowest level of the year (4.5%) occurred late in the second quarter. The curves diverged again, as the rate in urban areas fell again to 2% in the third quarter, and went up in the rural areas to about 5.5%. The fourth quarter was marked by a relatively stable unemployment rate in the rural areas, hovering around 5%, and an increase to the highest level, 4.9% in the urban areas.

Thanks for your sample. It's very helpful