Question: The only way to improve road safety is to give stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer:

It is undeniable that stricter punishments are immensely necessary in order to improve road safety. However, I think it must come hand in hand with other effective measures. Therefore, I don't completely agree with the statement.

It is hard to imagine how traffic laws would work without punishments. The stricter punishments are, the more aware road attendants become of what they must setoff after making driving offenses. Without penalties, the laws are no longer empowered, and people are more likely to break the rule, causing severe road accidents. It would not just stop at heavy fines or driving bans, it can exacerbate far more than that, with non-custodial sentences or even prison sentences for serious motoring offenses.

However, although we cannot deny the importance of harsh penalties on keeping the laws powerful and increasing road safety, it's definitely not the only way that can be implemented. Other effective measures must come along to strengthen this because basically driving offenses is a multifaceted problem. Road safety education must be applied at schools, work stations and every single family for those environments are the most intimate places to people. As for children, adults such as teachers and parents are models for them to look up to, so they need to set their attitude and action as the leading mirrors first. It is vital that we deal with the pressing issue from the root, not just on the surface or with temporary solutions.

In brief, applying stricter punishments on motoring offenses is necessary to empower the laws and improve road safety, but it is just a temporary solution and other effective measures such as road safety education must be carried out in a long run.

(1)The number of road accidents continues to rise in many countries all around the world, and people have different opinions about the best solution to this problem. It is undeniable (2)Some argue that stricter punishments are immensely necessary in order to improve road safety. However, I think it such penalties must come hand in hand with other effective measures. Therefore, I (3)don't do not completely agree with the given statement.

On the one hand, it is hard to imagine how traffic laws would work without punishments. The stricter punishments are, the more aware road attendants users become of what they must setoff face after making committing driving offenses. Without penalties, the laws are no longer empowered, and people are more likely to break the rule, causing a rise in the number and severity of road accidents. It would not just stop at heavy fines or driving bans, it can exacerbate far more than that, with non-custodial sentences or even prison sentences for serious motoring offenses. [ I have absolutely no idea what that means. Rewrite it in simple language. Focus on the ideas and try to give some specific examples towards the end of your body paragraph]

However, although we cannot deny the importance of harsh penalties on keeping the laws powerful and increasing road safety, it's it is(3) definitely not the only way of reducing traffic accidents. that can be implemented. Other effective measures must come along be employed to strengthen this because basically driving offenses is a multifaceted problem. Road safety education must be applied at schools, and work places. stations and every single family for those environments are the most intimate places to people. As for children, adults such as teachers and parents are models for them to look up to, so they need to set their attitude and action as the leading mirrors first. It is vital that we deal with the pressing issue from the root, not just on the surface or with temporary solutions. [ That’s waffle and is off topic]

In brief, applying stricter punishments on for motoring offenses is necessary to empower the laws and improve road safety, but it is just a temporary one solution, and other effective measures such as road safety education must be considered as well. carried out in a long run.

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1- Your original opening sentence killed the essay by answering the giving question. You need to introduce the topic to the reader and give some background in your first sentence or two of the introduction.

2- After the opening sentence and background, present the issue to the reader.

3- Do not use contractions in formal writing.

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Try to amend your essay and post the revised version below, if you like. You can PM me for help/advice with this.

Thank you so much for such a thorough and dedicated review! And of course your kindness.

My amendment for the essay:

The number of road accidents continues to rise in many countries all around the world, and people have different opinions about the best solution to this problem. Some argue that stricter punishments are necessary in order to improve road safety. However, I think such penalties must come hand in hand with other effective measures. Therefore, I do not completely agree with the given statement.

On the one hand, it is hard to imagine how traffic laws would work without punishments. The stricter punishments are, the more aware road users become of what they must face after committing driving offenses. Without penalties, the laws are no longer empowered, and people are more likely to break the rule, causing a rise in the number and severity of road accidents. Besides setting heavier non-custodial sentences for usually-committed cases, prison sentences can be applied to those who cause severe injuries.

However, although we cannot deny the importance of harsh penalties on keeping the laws powerful and increasing road safety, it is definitely not the only way of reducing traffic accidents. Other effective measures must be employed to because basically driving offenses is a multifaceted problem. One can be taken into consideration is road safety education at schools, homes, and workplaces. Children, in particular, must learn from a very young age that driving on the road requires respects for the laws and carefullness for their own sake and other people's on the road.

In brief, applying stricter punishments for motoring offenses is necessary to empower the laws and improve road safety, but it is just one solution, and other effective measures such as road safety education must be considered as well.

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?

The number of road accidents continues to rise in many countries all around the world, and people have different opinions about the best solution to this problem. Some argue that stricter punishments are necessary in order to improve road safety. However, I think such penalties must come hand in hand with other effective measures. Therefore, I do not completely agree with the given statement.

On the one hand, it is hard to imagine how traffic laws would work without punishments. The stricter punishments are, the more aware road users become of what they must face after committing driving offenses. Without penalties, the laws are no longer empowered, and people are more likely to break the rule, causing a rise in the number and severity of road accidents. Besides setting heavier non-custodial sentences for usually-committed cases, prison sentences can be applied to those who cause severe injuries.

However, although we cannot deny the importance of harsh penalties on keeping the laws powerful and increasing road safety, it is definitely not the only way of reducing traffic accidents. Other effective measures must be employed too because basically driving offenses is a multifaceted problem. One can be taken into consideration important measure is road safety education at schools, homes, and workplaces. Children, in particular, must learn from a very young age that driving on the road requires respect for the law and carefullness being careful for their own sake and other people's on the road.

In brief, applying stricter punishments for motoring offenses is necessary to empower the laws and improve road safety, but it is just one solution, and other effective measures such as road safety education must be considered as well.

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The underlined part in the first body paragraph is still unclear. Again, rewrite it in a plain, direct and simple manner. Use several sentences if necessary.

On the one hand, it is hard to imagine how traffic laws would work without punishments. The stricter punishments are, the more aware road users become of what they must face after committing driving offenses. Without penalties, the laws are no longer empowered, and people are more likely to break the rule, causing a rise in the number and severity of road accidents. Heavier fines on minor driving offenses should be considered, accompanied by driving license suspension for a more extended period. Besides, laws should also be extra tightened on giving prison sentences for more serious cases.

Thank you again!

Thus, heavier fines on minor driving offenses should be considered, accompanied by driving license suspension for a more extended period. Besides, laws should also be extra tightened on allow for giving prison sentences for more serious cases.

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Why dont you use simpler sentences ? I feel tired, exhauted when read your essay.

Nguyễn Văn ThànhWhy dont you use simpler sentences? I feel tired and exhausted when I read your essay.

Hello and welcome to the forum. Emotion: smile

Are you talking about my post or about Mira Jane's?

Which sentences are you having trouble with?

oh yes. I mean the Mira Jane's essay. Thanks to your help. D.

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