Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


People have different views about whether people should remove green spaces to make way for office buildings in order to decrease commuting time. Personally, I completely disagree with this measure because of the far-reaching consequences that it may cause.


Some people argue that we should replace locations that have a host of trees with office blocks because that would be more convenient and help saving time. To be more specific, if apartment buildings can be placed near people’s houses instead of parks or gardens, people would not have to confront traffic congestion or being late to work. If these issues which commuters have to deal with on a daily basis can be tackled, people would concentrate more on their work and may boost their productivity.


However, I believe that this step can have some detrimental impacts on both the environment and public health. Firstly, if green spaces disappear, there would be a higher rate of global warming. In other words, trees being cut down means they would not be able to give off oxygen and take in carbon dioxide to enhance air quality and curb global warming. Another downside of this measure would be severe issues relating to people’s health. To illustrate, if the vast number of trees are cleared to construct office buildings, people can suffer from numerous respiratory diseases and have breathing difficulties due to the fact that there are no more trees to mitigate air pollution.


In conclusion, although replacing green spaces with buildings for business can save time and address some issues when travelling for commuters, I believe that we should not take this action or else there would be a plethora of severe ramifications in the environment and human’s health.

Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


People have different views about whether people should remove green spaces to make way for office buildings in order to decrease commuting time. Personally, I completely disagree with this measure because of the far-reaching consequences that it may cause.


Some people argue that we should replace locations that have a host of trees with office blocks because that would be more convenient and help saving time. To be more specific, if apartment buildings can be placed near people’s houses instead of parks or gardens, people would not have to confront traffic congestion or being late to work. If these issues which commuters have to deal with on a daily basis can be tackled, people would concentrate more on their work and may boost their productivity.


However, I believe that this step can have some detrimental impacts on both the environment and public health. Firstly, if green spaces disappear, there would be a higher rate of global warming. In other words, trees being cut down means they would not be able to give off oxygen and take in carbon dioxide to enhance air quality and curb global warming. Another downside of this measure would be severe issues relating to people’s health. To illustrate, if the vast number of trees are cleared to construct office buildings, people can suffer from numerous respiratory diseases and have breathing difficulties due to the fact that there are no more trees to mitigate air pollution.


In conclusion, although replacing green spaces with buildings for business can save time and address some issues when travelling for commuters, I believe that we should not take this action or else there would be a plethora of severe ramifications in the environment and human’s health.

You did not read the essay instructions carefully, so your score will not be good.



People have different views about whether people should remove (Avoid repetition of "people" by using the passive voice. There are two different sets of people.) green spaces should be removed to make way for office buildings in order to decrease commuting time. Personally, I completely disagree with this measure because of the far-reaching consequences that it may cause.


Some people argue that we should replace parks with locations that have a host (wrong word) of trees with office blocks (off-topic) because that would be more convenient and help save saving time. To be more specific, if apartment buildings can be placed near people’s houses (off-topic. The topic is about bulldozing the parks and erecting apartment blocks.) instead of parks or gardens, people would not have to confront traffic congestion or being late to work. If these issues which commuters have to deal with on a daily basis can be tackled, people would concentrate more on their work and that may boost their productivity.

However, I believe that (Do not write your opinions in the body paragraphs. Your opinion is in the introduction.) this step can have some detrimental impacts on both the environment and public health. Firstly, First, if green spaces disappear, there would be a higher rate of global warming. In other words, trees being cut down means they would not be able to give off oxygen and take in carbon dioxide to which improves the enhance air quality and curbs global warming. Another downside of this measure would be severe issues relating to people’s health. To illustrate, In particular, if the vast number of trees are cleared to construct office buildings, (off-topic) people can suffer from numerous respiratory diseases and have breathing difficulties due to the fact that there are no more trees to freshen the air. mitigate air pollution.

(A more obvious point is that people use the parks to get exercise and to relax during breaks. If there were nothing but skyscrapers near their workplace, there would be no outlet for stress. Parks are also used for picnics and celebrations. They make the inner city beautiful. )

In conclusion, although replacing green spaces with buildings for business can save time and address some issues when travelling for commuters, I believe that we should not take this action or else there would be a plethora (wrong word) of severe ramifications for in the environment and human’s (wrong form, not a good word choice.) health.

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People have different views about whether green spaces should be removed to make way for office buildings in order to decrease commuting time. Personally, I completely disagree with this measure because of the far-reaching consequences that it may cause.


Some people argue that we should replace parks with trees with apartment blocks because that would be more convenient and help saving time. To be more specific, if apartment buildings can be placed near people’s workplace instead of parks or gardens, people would not have to confront traffic congestion or be late to work. If these issues which commuters have to deal with on a daily basis can be tackled, people would concentrate more on their work and that may boost their productivity.


However, I believe that this can have some detrimental impacts on both the environment and public health. First, if green spaces disappear, there would be a higher rate of global warming. In other words, trees being cut down means they would not be able to give off oxygen and take in carbon dioxide that improve air quality and curb global warming. Another downside of this measure would be severe issues relating to people’s health. In particular, if the vast number of trees are cleared to construct office buildings, people can suffer from numerous respiratory diseases and have breathing difficulties due to the fact that there are no more trees to freshen the air.


In conclusion, although replacing green spaces with residential buildings can save time and address some issues when commuting, I believe that we should not take this action or else there would be a number of severe ramifications for the environment and human health.