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Hi teacher. This is my essay about the average annual expenditure of college students from three countries. Please check and correct it for me. If possible, please give me an example on this topic.

Thank you so much.

Answer:

The table compares the expenditure of college students annually from three different countries in terms of total costs and five specific living expenses. These five are accommodation, food, books, leisure, and others.

Overall, A was the first-ranked nation that has the highest total spending, while C is the least. In these three countries, college students mainly spend their money on accommodation and food.

In country A, students spend a total of 5000 US$, which was 10 percent higher than country B and more than threefold compared to country C, 4500 and 1500 US$ respectively.

The accommodation accounted for nearly half of total, at 45 percent, while the percentages for countries B and C are barely lower, at 35 and only 30 percent. However, in terms of food, the students in country C dominate the highest proportions, at 21 percent, compared with 9 percent for students in country B and just 3 percent for students in country A. For leisure category, students in country A and B spend the approximate percentages (22 versus 23 percent), which are nearly twofold that of students in country C. The others living costs just take the minor proportions, which are 8, 5, and 1 percent in country A, B, and C respectively.

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The table compares the annual expenditure of college (In the UK, college and university are two different kinds of schools. Use the word given in the instructions.) students annually from in three different countries in terms of the total costs and percentages allocated to five specific living expense categories. These five are accommodation, food, books, leisure, and others. The totals are expressed in US dollars.

Overall, A was the first-ranked nation that has the highest total spending, (Incorrect clause. Nations do not spend this money) while C is the least. In these three countries, college students mainly spend their money on accommodation and food.



You must be better in stating the topic of each paragraph. Transitions are weak between the following paragraphs.


In country A, students spend a total of 5000 US$, which was 10 percent higher than country B and more than three times that of fold compared to country C, at 4500 and 1500 US$ respectively. (It is not clear what you are comparing in this paragraph. You need to plan and organize your essay more carefully.)

The accommodation accounted for nearly half of the total, at 45 percent, while the percentages for countries B and C are slightly barely lower, at 35 and only 30 percent. However, in terms of food, (??) the students in country C dominate the highest proportions, at 21 percent, compared with 9 percent for students in country B and just 3 percent for students in country A. For leisure category, students in country A and B spend the approximately the same percentages (22 versus 23 percent), which are nearly twice twofold that of students in country C. The others other living costs just take the minor proportions, which are 8, 5, and 1 percent in country A, B, and C respectively (missing punctuation)


My essay plan:

1. Introduction - describe the table and its contents.
2. Overall, - give two or three highlights or salient observations.
3. Some interesting details. - For this task, I decide to focus on the two categories with the most striking differences, books and leisure. I will not only compare percentages, but actual dollars, which gives even more insights into the actual outlays incurred by these students.

My essay: (~210 words).

The table compares the average annual expenditure of university students in three different countries (designated A, B and C). The total, given in US dollars, as well as the percentages allocated to five expense categories (accommodation, food, books, leisure, and others) are listed.

Overall, going to university costs the most in Country A, more than three times that of the least expensive, Country C. The costs of accommodation and food amounts to about two-thirds ( between 63 and 67%) of the total in all these countries.

In detail, students in Country A, budget $5000 for their living expenses, compared to $4500 in Country B and $1500 in Country C. Ironically, the students in the most expensive country, had to allocate only $150 for books, whereas in Country C, books were twice as much $315, and even more so in Country B, $405. Another category with a large disparity was Leisure, where the students in Country C allocated only about half as much (12%) as those in Country A and Country B, (22% and 23%, respectively). In absolute terms, students in Countries A and B spent more than five times as much money on leisure activities than those in Country C, (over $1000 versus under $200).

Comments  

Please include the essay instructions:

The table below gives information about the average annual spending of university students in 3 different countries.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

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