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Hello teacher. This is an essay for task 1 in the IELTS test that I just wrote. Please check this essay for me.

Thank you so much.

Answer:

The table gives the proportion of the population who are equal or over 65 years old in three specific countries (Canada, Germany, and the UK) in 1988, 2000, and an estimated percentage in the year 2030.

Overall, the elderly people in these three countries raised from 1998 to 2000, and is predicted to continue its trend until 2030. Germany dominated the highest percentage of old people, and will remain the top-ranked in 2030. In contrast, the UK had the least proportion over the period given.

Between 1988 and 2000, there was a rise of approximately 5 percentage in both Canada (from about 16 to 21 percent) and Germany (from about 20 to 25 percent). The UK, on the other hand, showed an insignificant change in proportion (about less than 1 percent) and remained at slightly under 15 percent in both years.

By 2030, it is expected that the population aged 65 and over will rise by around 5.5 percent in all three countries, reaching the percentage of 26.35 in Canada, 30.42 in Germany, and 20.35 in the UK.

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The table gives the proportion of the population who are equal to or over 65 years old in three specific countries (Canada, Germany, and the UK) in 1988, 2000, and an estimate for d percentage in the year 2030. (Note: estimate can be either a verb or a noun. Using the noun form allows you to avoid an annoying repetition of a synonym for "proportion." Poor use of synonyms is a sign of an unskilled writer.)

Overall, the elderly people (Wrong expression. People aged 65 are not considered "elderly" these days. Instead, use the common term "seniors" or "Senior citizens" Also, mention this term in the first paragraph.) ) in these three countries raised (wrong word. This is the past of "raise".) from 1998 to 2000, and is predicted to continue its trend until 2030. Germany dominated (wrong usage) the highest percentage of old people, and will remain in that position the top-ranked (Ranking is used for sports and other competitions. These countries are not trying to excel in their demographics!) in 2030. In contrast, the UK had the least proportion over the period given.

Between 1988 and 2000, there was a rise of approximately 5 percentage (wrong usage) in both Canada (from about 16 to 21 percent) and Germany (from about 20 to 25 percent). The UK, on the other hand, showed an insignificant change in proportion (about (wrong usage) less than 1 percent) and remained at slightly under 15 percent in both years.

By 2030, it is expected that the population aged 65 and over will rise by around 5.5 percent in all three countries, reaching the levels percentage of 26.35% in Canada, 30.42% in Germany, and 20.35% in the UK.


(Sample writing; 180 words)

The table lists the percentage of the population who were seniors (65 and older) in three specific countries (Canada, Germany, and the UK) in 1988, 2000, and and a forecast for the year 2030.

Overall, all three countries have an aging population, with Germany having the highest percentages, followed by Canada and the UK. Although the UK showed less than one percentage point change between 1988 and 2000, its growth in this segment of the population is projected to be approximately the same as the other two countries between 2000 and 2030.

In 1988, about one in five people in Germany were senior citizens; whereas it was about one in six for Canada and one in seven the UK. The exact percentages were 20.45, 16.32 and 14.23, respectively. From 1988 to 2000, the proportions grew by about 25% in both Germany and Canada, with the UK showing very little change. The predictions are for a continuing rise to 2030 when three out of every ten people will be a senior citizen in Germany. A quarter of Canada's population will fall in this segment and just over 20% in the UK.