+0

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The rising number of obese people leads to pressure on the health care system and most people believe that one of the ways to overcome this problem is propose more physical lessons in school. Taking issue with this statement, I consider that there always the other ideas better than force people on physical lessons in school to prevent dangerous consequence of the obesity in future.

It is obvious that most reason cause the obesity is insufficient physical activities, while people tent to eat a lot junk food or fast food. This habit is growing as a consequence of modern life, which leads to the psychology of avoiding taking physical lessons. In a result, it is hard to force someone to do exercise when they do not like. The idea that introducing more physical lessons in school is a temporally solutions, As an illustration, those physical lessons in school failed to create a habit to people, which will be ineffective when people leave their school due to the negative influences from society.

Nevertheless, the best way to reduce obesity that it can potentially be prevented by increasing awareness of healthy. That plays a prominent role in minimizes the obese people and inspire them to take physical classes, eat diet for keeping body in shape. By taking this long-term approach, people are capable for self-discipline practice a good habit without coercive measures.

In conclusion, the increasing trend of overweight people is putting a burden on healthcare system. In an effort to solve such issues, I believe that increasing awareness in keeping a good healthy is necessary.

+2

The rising number of obese people leads to pressure on the health care system and most people believe that one of the ways to overcome this problem is propose to introduce more physical activities lessons in school. Taking issue with this statement, (You have to answer the essay prompt: To what extent do you agree or disagree? Answer with an adverb of extent.) I consider that there always the other ideas better than to force children to play sports and do exercises people on physical lessons in school to prevent the dangerous consequences of their obesity in future. (Are you assuming that all these schoolchildren will be obese in the future? You seem to be mostly off-topic. The topic is about having more play time activities in schools, for example, playing netball, football and other fun sports. It is not about adults or university students who eat a lot of junk food and live a sedentary lifestyle.)

It is obvious that most reason (wrong word) cause the (wrong word) obesity is insufficient physical activities, while people tent (wrong word) to eat a lot junk food or fast food. This habit is growing as a consequence of modern life, which leads to the psychology of avoiding taking physical lessons. (That makes no sense.) In a result, it is hard to force someone to do exercise (You are off-topic. The topic is about young schoolchildren, who like to play, not obese and lazy adults.) when they do not like it. The idea that introducing more physical lessons (wrong expression) in school is a temporally (wrong word ) solutions, (wrong form) As an illustration, those physical lessons (wrong expression) in school failed to create a habit to people, which will be ineffective when people leave their school due to the negative influences from society.

Nevertheless, the best way to reduce obesity that it can potentially be prevented (ungrammatical) is by increasing awareness of healthy. (wrong word - healthy is an adjective. You cannot use it as a noun.) That plays a prominent role in minimizes (wrong form, wrong word) the obese people and inspire them to take physical exercise classes, eat diet (ungrammatical) for keeping the body in shape. By taking this long-term approach, people are capable for self-discipline practice a good habit (ungrammatical - That is very poor English.) without coercive measures.

In conclusion, the increasing trend of overweight people is putting a burden on the healthcare system. In an effort to solve such issues, I believe that increasing awareness in keeping a good healthy is necessary.

+1

Hello, Tâm Nhã

Welcome to English Forums.

Please post essays, paragraphs, dialogues and other writing in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm


Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

You can use this subject:

Please review my IELTS essay


---------------------