hi folks,

I'm a freshman student at teachers' college and want to improve my English as much as I can. here, i wrote something for you to read in order to check my writing, grammatical or spelling mistakes. I should be handing this to the teacher in 2 weeks.

I hope u can help understand my mistakes

thanks in advance

here's what i wrote:

The Journey to English Language In the early 14, seeing my siblings, some friends and people around able to talk in English, I was filled with curiosity and strong passion attempting to decode the mystery of this language. Plus, I was raised in a family of which each member knew English and sometimes used it to hide “secrets” which were not allowed for me to know. Therefore, I felt with deep despair being not aware of what was going on around and consequently made my decision to sail in the journey of a second language acquisition. As early as 15, I started my actual beginning towards learning English and it was, at the same time, the turning point during the course of my life. However, English school books were the first step I adopted for learning and were the best enriching source in terms of basic vocabulary as well as grammar. I devoted much of my free time studying both intensively. Although grammar lessons were difficult to some extent, it was the only part of the language that I loved the most. Nearly each grammar lesson consisted of new words, and thus I had a special notebook for such which was almost like a small lexicon special only for so. After going through harsh, long time studying basics, another path loomed to which it attracted my desire, short stories. I was highly drawn in short stories and was too much interested in plotting, actions and characters. So, to a high extent, this part has significantly expanded my lexical respect of English and widened my horizons around which how words are formed. As a result, this simple contribution of short stories made me sufficiently capable of constructing a correct simple sentence by which I would express; ask what I want and what I feel. In fact, I was deeply delighted for such remarkable improvement to my level which, with faith, motivated me to go further and fly through the next window of learning which was English self-learning books for beginners.During the years of high school, I dedicated much of my time studying English deeply due to the interest I had more than any subject else. Self learning books, the internet, E-lessons and media helped me understand English much better specially the main four skills: reading, writing, listening and speaking. At some point, I had no difficulty to understand my high school English books which pushed me to seek for something more advanced. So I bought myself some grammar books, specialized for students of English as a second language (ESL), which offered key answers at the end. With the help of my brothers, I was able to cover mostly the important advanced grammatical rules in these books especially the ones central to writing as well as day to day conversations. Just like many ESL students, feeling the accelerating growth of the grammatical aspect of English, I desired to apply and function what I learned concretely. Thus, I spent much time writing essays, stories, reports, etc in order to apply this knowledge of grammar into real life. In principle, my deep passion for grammar leads me to practice speaking for the achievement of two certain objectives. First, to help the understanding of grammar more in particular. Second, to strengthen the base of my speaking which was rather weak.Day after day, I exposed myself to many English shows on a regular basis in order to get myself familiarized with the correct pronunciation and use of the language. Luckily, the impact of this exposure had rapidly resulted in a greater influence to my speaking. Since then, I was sparked too much by the idea of seeing myself speaking and for that, my oldest brother used to talk to me in English with the aim of assisting my speaking skill. Though, in the beginning, I could understand almost nothing of what he was saying except key words. Yet soon, I began to catch some sentences and was somewhat able to respond simply. Seven months of practice adopting this way, I have improved in a way where I could comprehend a fully simple speech as well as being able to respond coherently and fluently. By the end of my senior year of high school, I almost mastered the four skills of English. By then, I realized that a major part of the mystery had been solved. I also figured out that I had just broken a barrier and got into a new world. After celebrating my high school graduation, it was a serious decisive moment for me to decide which university to attend and what major to choose. With many options offered, I got confused and hesitated about what would seem perfect to me. At first, I applied for the college of pharmacy due to the interest and excellence I had in chemistry. Yet three weeks later, I decided to depict my passion into reality and give the privilege to my interest for which I’d spend all my college life. So I just decided to be a student of English as language was the field where I found myself into. Eventually, teachers’ college has been the perfect academic institution from which my academic flight has begun.

Anon:
You have put a lot of effort into this piece.

The most important comment I have is that you are trying very hard to be impressive and sophisticated in your writing. As a result, you have used many more words than necessary. The phrases are so complex and the sentences so long and convoluted that the meaning is lost. Also, with this style, it is easy to make grammatical mistakes.
Remember that some of the greatest English writers wrote in beautiful but simple sentences, choosing their words and phrases carefully.
I have made some suggestions, and underlined some places where I could not understand the text.
All the best in your journey!
A-Emotion: stars
Anonymoushi folks,

I'm a freshman student at teachers' college and want to improve my English as much as I can. here, i wrote something for you to read in order to check my writing, grammatical or spelling mistakes. I should be handing this to the teacher in 2 weeks
I hope u can help me understand my mistakes

thanks in advance

here's what i wrote:
The Journey to English Language (English Language is not really a destination. Do you mean fluency in the English language?)
In the early 14, seeing my siblings, some friends and people around able to talk in English, I was filled with curiosity and strong passion attempting to decode the mystery of this language. Plus, I was raised in a family in of which each member knew English and sometimes used it to hide “secrets” which were not allowed for me to know (which I was not allowed to know). Therefore, I felt with deep despair not being not aware of what was going on around me and consequently made my decision to sail in the journey of acquiring a second language acquisition.
As early as 15, I started my actual beginning towards learning English and it was, at the same time, the turning point during the course of my life. However, I adopted English school books aswere the first step I adopted for learning and they were the best enriching source in terms of basic vocabulary as well as grammar. I devoted much of my free time studying both ("both" is ambiguous here - it could refer to "books" or "vocabulary and grammar". You can delete this pronoun. ) intensively. Although grammar lessons were difficult to some extent, it was the only part of the language that I loved the most. Nearly each grammar lesson consisted of new words (you just made the distinction between vocabulary and grammar, and now one is part of the other), and thus I had a special notebook for such which was almost like a small lexicon special only for so. (This sentence needs to be simplified.)
After going through a harsh, long time studying basics, another path loomed (loomed is threatening. It does not fit here) to which it attracted attracting my desire, short stories. I was highly drawn to in short stories and was very too much interested in plotsting, (plotting is the same as scheming. i don't think that is what you intended to say) actions and characters. So, to a high extent, this part has significantly expanded my lexical respect of English and widened my horizons concerning around which how words are formed. As a result, this simple contribution (? writing short stories) of short stories made me sufficiently capable of constructing a correct simple sentence in by which I could would express myself; ask for what I want and tell what I feel. In fact, I was deeply delighted for such a remarkable improvement to my level which, with faith, motivated me to go further and fly through the next window of learning which was studying English self-learning books for beginners.
During the years of high school, I dedicated much of my time studying English deeply due to the interest I had more than any subject else. Self learning books, the internet, E-lessons and media helped me understand English much better, especially the main four skills: reading, writing, listening and speaking. At some point, I had no difficulty to understand my high school English books which pushed me to seek for something more advanced. So I bought myself some grammar books, specialized for students of English as a second language (ESL), which offered key answers at the end. With the help of my brothers, I was able to cover mostly of the important advanced grammatical rules in these books especially the ones central to writing as well as day to day conversations.
Just like many ESL students, feeling the accelerating growth of the grammatical aspect of English, I desired to apply and function what I learned concretely. Thus, I spent much time writing essays, stories, reports, etc in order to apply this knowledge of grammar into real life. In principle, my deep passion for grammar leads me to practice speaking to achieve for the achievement of two certain objectives: first, to improve my help the understanding of grammar, and more in particular. second, to strengthen the base of my speaking which was rather weak.
Day after day, I exposed myself to many English shows on a regular basis in order to get myself familiarized with the correct pronunciation and use of the language. Luckily, the impact of this exposure had rapidly resulted in a greater influence to my speaking. Since then, I was sparked too much by the idea of seeing myself speaking and for that, my oldest brother used to talk to me in English with the aim of assisting my speaking skills. Though, In the beginning, I could understand almost nothing of what he was saying except key words. Yet soon, I began to catch some sentences and was somewhat able to respond simply. After seven months of practice adopting this way, I have improved to in a way where I could comprehend a fully simple speech as well as being able to respond coherently and fluently.
By the end of my senior year of high school, I had almost mastered the four skills of English. By then, I realized that a major part of the mystery had been solved. I also figured out that I had just broken a barrier and entered got into a new world. After celebrating my high school graduation, it was a serious decisive moment for me to decide which university to attend and what major to choose. With many options offered, I got confused and hesitated about what would seem perfect to me. At first, I applied for the college of pharmacy due to my interest and excellent grades I had in chemistry. Yet three weeks later, I decided to depict (convert?) my passion into reality and give the privilege to my interest for which I’d spend all my college life. So I just decided to be a student of English as language was the field where I found myself into. Eventually, teachers’ college has been the perfect academic institution from which my academic flight has begun.
Hi AlpheccaStars ,

Thanks a lot for helping me in my essay
AlpheccaStars
Anon:

You have put a lot of effort into this piece.

The most important comment I have is that you are trying very hard to be impressive and sophisticated in your writing. As a result, you have used many more words than necessary. The phrases are so complex and the sentences so long and convoluted that the meaning is lost. Also, with this style, it is easy to make grammatical mistakes.

Remember that some of the greatest English writers wrote in beautiful but simple sentences, choosing their words and phrases carefully.

I have made some suggestions, and underlined some places where I could not understand the text.

All the best in your journey!

A-s
AnonymousThe Journey to English Language (English Language is not really a destination. Do you mean fluency in the English language?)

yeah, i made a mistake in this. it is a literal translation from my mother tongue into english. it has to be the translation of meaning.

In the early 14,i meant the beginning of my 14 year seeing my siblings, some friends and people around able to talk in English, I was filled with curiosity and strong passion attempting to decode the mystery of this language. Plus, I was raised in a family in of which each member knew English and sometimes used it to hide “secrets” which were not allowed for me to know (which I was not allowed to know). Therefore, I felt with deep despair not being not aware of what was going on around me and consequently made my decision to sail in the journey of acquiring a second language acquisition.

As early as 15, I started my actual beginning towards learning English and it was, at the same time, the turning point during the course of my life. However, I adopted English school books aswere the first step I adopted for learning and they were the best enriching source in terms of basic vocabulary as well as grammar. I devoted much of my free time studying both ("both" is ambiguous here - it could refer to "books" or "vocabulary and grammar". You can delete this pronoun. ) intensively. Although grammar lessons were difficult to some extent, it was the only part of the language that I loved the most. Nearly each grammar lesson consisted of new words (you just made the distinction between vocabulary and grammar, and now one is part of the other),sure. i made a big mistake and thus I had a special notebook for such which was almost like a small lexicon special only for so. (This sentence needs to be simplified.) for example " I had a special notebook to write down the new words so that I can revise them easily" is it correct ?

After going through a harsh, long time studying basics, another path loomed (loomed is threatening. It does not fit here) appeared/emerged ?correct? to which it attracted attracting my desire, short stories. I was highly drawn to in short stories and was very too much interested in plotsting, (plotting is the same as scheming. i don't think that is what you intended to say) actions and characters. So, to a high extent, this part has significantly expanded my lexical respect of English and widened my horizons concerning around which how words are formed. As a result, this simple contribution (? writing short stories) of short stories made me sufficiently capable of constructing a correct simple sentence in by which I could would express myself; ask for what I want and tell what I feel. In fact, I was deeply delighted for such a remarkable improvement to my level which, with faith, motivated me to go further and fly through the next window of learning which was studying English self-learning books for beginners.

During the years of high school, I dedicated much of my time studying English deeply due to the interest I had more than any subject else. Self learning books, the internet, E-lessons and media helped me understand English much better, especially the main four skills: reading, writing, listening and speaking. At some point, I had no difficulty to understand my high school English books which pushed me to seek for something more advanced. So I bought myself some grammar books, specialized for students of English as a second language (ESL), which offered key answers at the end. With the help of my brothers, I was able to cover mostly of the important advanced grammatical rules in these books especially the ones central to writing as well as day to day conversations.

Just like many ESL students, feeling the accelerating growth of the grammatical aspect of English, I desired to apply and function what I learned concretely. Thus, I spent much time writing essays, stories, reports, etc in order to apply this knowledge of grammar into real life. In principle, my deep passion for grammar leads me to practice speaking to achieve for the achievement of two certain objectives: first, to improve my help the understanding of grammar, and more in particular. second, to strengthen the base of my speaking which was rather weak.

Day after day, I exposed myself to many English shows on a regular basis in order to get myself familiarized with the correct pronunciation and use of the language. Luckily, the impact of this exposure had rapidly resulted in a greater influence to my speaking. Since then, I was sparked too much by the idea of seeing myself speaking and for that, my oldest brother used to talk to me in English with the aim of assisting my speaking skills. Though, In the beginning, I could understand almost nothing of what he was saying except key words. Yet soon, I began to catch some sentences and was somewhat able to respond simply. After seven months of practice adopting this way, I have improved to in a way where I could comprehend a fully simple speech as well as being able to respond coherently and fluently.

By the end of my senior year of high school, I had almost mastered the four skills of English. By then, I realized that a major part of the mystery had been solved. I also figured out that I had just broken a barrier and entered got into a new world. After celebrating my high school graduation, it was a serious decisive moment for me to decide which university to attend and what major to choose. With many options offered, I got confused and hesitated about what would seem perfect to me. At first, I applied for the college of pharmacy due to my interest and excellent grades I had in chemistry. Yet three weeks later, I decided to depict (convert?) my passion into reality and give the privilege to my interest for which I’d spend all my college life. So I just decided to be a student of English as language was the field where I found myself into. Eventually, teachers’ college has been the perfect academic institution from which my academic flight has begun.

Thanks a lot again for correcting my mistakes.

After reading this, what do u think of it as a beginner?

With all my regards,

Mohammad

Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
Mohammad:
Your changes show that you have understood the errors in the first draft.
Your hard work and studies have paid off handsomely. I admire someone who has been able to learn a second language so well.
Keep up the good work, and you will be a great writer!
Anon,

I read your essay. I think I understood your long phrases style. It is how Spanish people use to write. I am originally from Argentina. We love to write long, long phrases. Everybody here told me that I should write short and simple sentences. Here is valuated the time of the reader, so the simple, clear and short the phrases, the better.

I am 52 years old and I need to find an e-book or a regular book to improve my formal writing in English. Do you know about some business writting in the pharmacy or financial industries? Do you know where can I find formal business letters templates to learn and practice my Englih?
My husband is American, but he has not patient to teach me how to write properly.

Any help is going to be really appreciated.
Thanks so much!
Elena