+0

The line graph illustrates the changes in the proportion of people travel to England who visited certain Brington attractions in 30-year period from 1980 to 2010.

Overall, the figure of tourists to Pavilion and Pier rose significantly, while, those to Festival and Art Gallery were experienced a downward trend in the duration.

Initially, the highest proportion of visitors fell into Festival spots, with over 30%, then Pavilion, which makes up almost 25% in 1980. In the next 15 years from 1980, the figure for tourists who came to Pavilion witnessed an upward trend and hit the highest point, at almost 50% in 1995. And after that, it decreased to over 30% at the end of the period. While those to Pier dropped dramatically to nearly 10% in 1990, then increased steadily to more than 20% in 2010.

Besides, the percentage of tourists to England visited the Art Gallery and Festival were higher than Pier, at over 20% and exactly 30% consecutive. The numbers of visitor came to the Art Gallery saw an increase in 1985 at nearly 40% then fall down all over the period. By contrast, the figure for people who traveled Festival fluctuated and fall below 30% in 2010.

+0

Can we see the graph please?

Click on:
- Reply
- Attach images (near the top right)
- Choose Files (upload the image)
- Add to post

+0

The line graph illustrates the changes in the proportion of people who traveled to England and who visited certain Brington attractions in the city of Brighton in a 30-year period from 1980 to 2010.

Overall, the figure numbers of tourists visitors to the Pavilion and Pier rose significantly, while, those who went to the festival and art Gallery [ 1] were experienced a downward trend in that period. the duration.

Initially, the highest proportion of visitors fell into was for the festival, spots, with at over 30%, then and that was followed by the pavilion, which makes up accounted for almost 25% in 1980. In the next 15 years, from 1980, the figure for tourists who [ 2] came went to the pavilion witnessed an upward trend and hit the highest point, at almost 50% in 1995. And after that, it decreased dramatically to over almost 30% at [ 3] by the end of the period. [ 4] In contrast, the figure graph for the people who traveled to the festival fluctuated and fall saw little change and eventually ended at below 30% in 2010.

[ 5] While Meanwhile, those the percentage of visitors to the pier dropped dramatically to nearly 10% in 1990 [ 6] fluctuated somewhat then increased steadily to more than 20% in 2010.

[ 7].

Besides, the percentage of tourists to England visited the Art Gallery and Festival were higher than Pier, at over 20% and exactly 30% consecutive. The numbers of visitor came to the Art Gallery saw an increase in 1985 at nearly 40% then fall down all over the period. By contrast, the figure for people who traveled Festival fluctuated and fall below 30% in 2010.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

[ 1]: The passive is wrong there.

[ 2]: “came” implies you were at the pavilion when you wrote this essay.

[ 3]: “at” implies a point in time; “by” implies a duration.

[ 4]: Note the correct position of that sentence.

[ 5]: The structure (punctuation) of a sentence beginning with “while” is: “While ABC, XYZ”.

[ 6]: “dropped dramatically” implies a big drop.

[ 7]: Write one or two sentences to describe what happened with the art gallery.

----------------------------------

Fix your text, and post the revised version below.

Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
Comments  

Ops sorry about that. This is the first time I use Englishforums and I don't know all about it. Can you help me to check my writing task 1. I'm trying to learn IELTS.
Regards.

Yes, I will try to help you, but I need to see the graph. Emotion: smile

-------------------

Click on:
- Reply
- Attach images (near the top right)
- Choose Files (upload the image)
- Add to post

----------------------------

If you're having difficulty with posting the graph here, put it in your profile photos and send me a PM. I will take a look there and proofread your text. Do you understand what I've written? Emotion: smile

Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.

I forgot to post pictures in the comment. Sorry about that

 teechr's reply was promoted to an answer.
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?